


The path to herself

by ChiChieri



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anxiety, Arc one: done, Arc two: in the making, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto) - Freeform, Explicit Language, Haruno Sakura-centric, Kakashi is a bad teacher?, Multi, Pairings not yet determined, no betareader, slow character development, some violence, wake up call: wave mission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2020-06-24 23:59:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19734283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiChieri/pseuds/ChiChieri
Summary: Of course, the first mission outside of Konoha had to get out of hand. First the emergence of the Demon Brothers and then Zabuza. The mission was not for a Genin-team, but they did continue. And it were exactly these two events that made Sakura question her reasons for becoming a Shinobi. Despite the oppressive anxiety she felt, she finally wanted to do something right and with that in mind she took her training seriously and into her own hands. Without knowing what this decision would lead her to.





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and Welcome to a new story from me.  
> This fanfiction is my first FF in english and I hope you can understand it halfway, because English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes I made and will make. Unlike my other FF I've got no one who translated or corrected for me, therefore have some sympathy and compassion for me, please :)
> 
> Otherwise I hope you enjoy reading :D

What had induced her once again to become a kunoichi? If she was honest with herself, then her motives were ridiculous. Back then she wanted to go to the Ninja-Academy because of the friendship with Ino and then, then there was Sasuke-kun. Unapproachable and handsome Sasuke-kun, which she wanted to impress, so she won him over. She had given up her friendship with Ino for this dream, this wishful thinking - to become Sasuke's later wife. Even her training outside theory had neglected her in the belief that he would never choose a girl who was sweaty and too muscular. After all, so she was told, Kunoichi's were beautiful, slender women. She had been on an extra diet so as not to overcharge, although she had read, that muscles were heavier than fat and they needed to eat enough to grow, especially if they exercised a lot. But she did not want to and could not lose to Ino-Pig! So all concerns were thrown overboard. Instead of having a well-balanced education she had taken care of her appearance and Sasuke-kun's progress. How stupid and reckless that was of her. She thought she was better because she had the best grades in theory at the Academy, so she chastised Naruto a useless idiot, who was of no use. In the course of this, it was her, which was no use. While Naruto and Sasuke-kun had fought side by side to help Kakashi-sensei against Zabuza, she just stood there rooted, unable to do more than armed with a kunai to face the client she had to protect. Even when the missing-nin rushed towards her or better Tazuna, she could not move. Instead Sasuke-kun jumped protectively in front of her and while her inner fangirl jumped for joy, because her very own sasuke-kun came to her aid, she gradually agreed with the other voice. She was useless, weak and had no right to call herself Shinobi.This only became clear to her little by little, and it took her almost the entire way to Tazuna's house, after meeting Zabuza, until she came to the conclusion that in retrospect she had only harmed herself and her career. It took an S-rank missing-nin and a mission that got completely out of hand to make her aware of that! She had always believed that her mind was her greatest strength. But compared to Sasuke-kun, Kakashi-sensei and even Naruto she was a nothing without special talent. Bitterness filled her with that reality and did not allow her to fall asleep.

It was the middle of the night, her sensei and her teammates were sleeping. Chakra-exhaustion and the healing of injuries tugged at their bodies, demanding recovery. Sakura on the other hand was wide awake, despite the distance traveled. She had no injuries, had not fought, and just stood at the sideline. She did not deserve sleep in her eyes, but what should she do?

If she thought about it… She had taken a scroll on chakra-manipulation that she could read outside or in the kitchen. In the room with her team it was not a good idea, she did not want to wake anyone just because she was restless. Gently, she took the said scroll from her bag, as well as a flashlight and carefully peeled off her sleeping bag before she tried silently to leave the room. Behind her, she closed the door and made her way outside. 

Cold, damp night air greeted her as she stepped out of the house. Sakura suppressed a shiver. Everything around her was quiet, almost too quiet for her liking, but she could not relent the oncoming fear. Damn it, she was a ninja from Konohagakure, she could not be afraid of a silent night!

**'** _It's nothing bad. We know that there is something out there somewhere and as long as Sensei and the other two are out of action, we are all that Tazuna grants security. We can feel anxiety there._ **'**

Inner was right, but it did not change the slightest of her discomfort. She could not do anything to someone like Zabuza, she was too weak and she could not protect anyone. But right now, she was everything her team and the client had to be safe.

Again she shivered, but not because of cold this time. The realization and the associated responsibility only increased her fear. She had to pull herself together! It was unlikely that they would be attacked in the middle of the night, the day after their arrival. She was just thinking too much and who knew, maybe, maybe tomorrow the world would be different again. Taking a deep breath, Sakura straightened her shoulders and sat on a few boxes next to the house before she opened the scroll and began to read. Everything was better than playing through possible scenarios and knowledge she had always absorbed like a sponge. This scroll was no exception, and the more she read, the bigger her eyes became. So many possibilities for chakra-manipulation! The academy had not even covered a third of what was in this role. If she ... if she could use and apply only a fraction of what was possible, then … Then there was a chance that she would not be a mistake as Kunoichi. She just could not be allowed to be stopped by someone.

The sun was not even on the rise, when she had internalized all the important information from the scroll. There was something good about being a bookworm, you could read much faster than the average, and it helped her understand the content better, even though she had read the text only once. Sakura's gaze wandered to the horizon as she processed all the information in her mind. Together with her previous knowledge, she tried to create a plan only for herself. Her training level was well behind that of Naruto and Sasuke-kun, because she had neglected her training so much. Both were ahead of her in many ways and she did not want to be a hindrance to them, not more than ever. The scroll neatly rolled back together, she entered Tazuna's house and put the roll on the kitchen table before she disappeared back outside. It was time she turned her thoughts into action, and for a balanced chakra, she needed both physical and mental/spiritual training. While she had always encouraged her mind, she had not taken her physical training seriously, so she had to change that, and with that she started running, again and again the same track until she could barely stand on her feet. Sweaty but happy, she leaned against the boxes at the house, after she had walk quietly for some time to get her breath under control and relax her muscles. Tiredness crept into her bones and with a mild smile she stepped back into the house, took the scroll from the table and disappeared into the bathroom to at least rough wash herself before quietly sneaking back into the room where her team slept and crawled back in her sleeping bag. Sleep was not long in coming.

___

Voices roused her from her sleep, followed by a loud clatter. Humming the female member of Team 7 turned in her sleeping bag, trying to fade out the annoying sounds, but to no avail. Her head boomed and the last night came back to her memory. No wonder she was so drained, she had used the night for training and had hardly slept. What time was it at all? Yawning Sakura straightened up in her sleeping bag and looked around the room. Kakashi-sensei was still unconscious in his bed, but there was no sign of her teammates. Presumably they were already awake and had kindly left the room not to disturb her or sensei. As soon as she tried to get up, she felt her aching muscles from the unusual nocturnal activity. Grumbling she grimaced. She had to get used to that, without pain, successes in her development would be quite small. She did not like pain. Even less did she like the fact that she needed help and could not defend herself on her own, so she'd somehow survive the pain. After plumping herself and not feeling as stiff as a board, she changed and went to the kitchen, where surprisingly she saw Sasuke-kun and Naruto sitting at the table, apparently at breakfast.

" **Sakura-chan!** You're awake." she was loudly greeted by Naruto and she had to pull herself together, not forgiving her face due to the volume.

"How you see Naruto. What time is it actually?"

She had already searched for a watch the night before without finding some, and since she was not out there, she could not orientate herself to the sun. A female voice answered her question when Tsunami, the bridge builder's daughter, stepped out of the kitchen.

"It should be about half past eight. I suppose you are hungry like these two. Come sit down, I made you a little breakfast."

Gratefully Sakura nodded to the woman, not realizing how hungry she was until she saw the food. Silently she ate her breakfast, constantly having to fight her guilty conscience. She was a kunoichi, she was not allowed to go on an unnecessary diet, yet she could not afford to unnecessarily prepare much circumstances for her client's family. After all she had seen in what condition the village was and food was something that not everyone could afford daily.

"What do we do while Kakashi-sensei is unconscious?" 

This question had been burning on her tongue for a while and it was also a good topic of conversation because they still had to fulfill their mission. But without her sensei, they were lacking someone to guide them, and Sakura was not keen on being alone and on her own.

When she received no response from her teammates, she lifted her eyes from her plate and found that both Naruto and Sasuke-kun were staring at the tabletop. Apparently, the two had no idea also. 

"We are waiting" heard she the apathetic voice Sasuke’s and saw how Naruto started to make a counter-argument. 

"Is probably the best. I'm sure Sensei will wake up soon, then we can see further " Even though she had agreed to her crush, she did not feel well. The fear was still too deep for that. They were not ready yet to make such heavy and difficult decisions that were due now! After breakfast she helped tsunami clear the table and her two teammates said, that they would be training outside the house, whereupon Sakura only slightly nodded. 

„Tsunami-san“ she started, after the door fell shut behind her boys. The next words did not just come easy over her lips. "I…" she swallowed her lump in her throat. "When Kakashi-sensei wakes up, can you let me know? I ... will go to the bridge, after all … we are here to protect Tazuna-san." 

Not that she took this task out of inexplicable courage. Inwardly she wanted to run away from fear, back to Konoha where it was safe, but she could not abandon her team or the client. She was not trash! Waiting for a response, Sakura turned her gaze to the bridge builder's daughter, and when she nodded slightly, she thanked her and set off.

It was not far to the bridge, but the foulness took a lot of the view and this fact alone made goose bumps on Sakura's arms. The idea of what could lurk behind the mist did not take away her fear. Only muted voices and the sounds of workers made her relax a bit. As long as they worked on the bridge, everyone was still safe and that gave her a bit of safety back. 

“Tazuna-san” exclaimed the Haruno, when, after a few minutes, she arrived at the unfinished bridge and discovered the person responsible for forwarding instructions to his workers. 

Irritated Tazuna turned around, discover the brat, which belonged to the team that should protect him. He had not expected that she would visit him without her sensei and her teammates. 

"What?" His voice sounded harsher than necessary, but the brat did not seem to be made for the task. Even less than her two teammates. Everything about her looked as if she were like a porcelain doll: pretty but fragile. Her boys had shown more skills, despite their not straight meaningful appearance. But this girl ...

"I'm here to keep an eye on you. After all we are here to protect you. Even if Kakashi-sensei is not conscious at the moment, it does not change our actual mission. And while my teammates train and keep an eye on your family, I'm here. " Sakura's voice sounded firmer and more confident than she felt. Yes, logically, what she intended to do was the right thing to do, yet it did not change the fact that she was not really fit for the task to guard. The look she got from Tazuna confirmed her adoption. He too did not believe that she could really stop potential attackers. She could not blame him, not after the encounter with Zabuza, where she had done nothing. 

"Maybe I can help you out, meanwhile. Strong am I not really, but it would also be a workout for me and I fulfill my real task. " If she was already on escort, she was also able to help while building up her muscle power and stamina. 

"And you really think you can do it?" 

No, surely she was not, but she would condemn herself, if she let herself be stopped now. 

“Hai” She had sworn not to be a burden for others, anymore. For that she had to jump over her own shadow, no matter how strong her anxiety and insecurity were. 

“When you think so, Brat. Then help the men over there wearing the straps and the other tools they need." With these words, Tazuna pointed in one direction to a group of men and waved Sakura away with a wave of his hand.

She would do what she could and a little more, over and over again. It were the small steps that counted and the will not to give up. The latter she had snapped from Naruto. And with that she got down to work. She helped the men where she could, paid attention to the surroundings and always tried to give a little bit more than her body could normally afford, before she allowed herself a little break.


	2. Waiting time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The days are dragging on and Kakashi-sensei still hasn't woken up. And Sakura is still on her own, while the waiting time makes her more and more nervous.

Two whole days. Two whole days had passed after Team 7 successfully escorted Tazuna back home and the pink-haired had thought about her motives for becoming a Shinobi. Sasuke and Naruto had used the time, when their sensei was unconscious, to train and fight each other. Sakura on the other hand had spent her time looking after Tazuna helping the men to build the bridge as best she could. Since her body was not used to this kind of exertion, her muscles creaked every day, but she started to accept the pain. While her first day had left her exhausted and powerless in her sleeping bag, the second day hadn’t been quite so tiring. Still she didn’t feel safe, the constant fog and the uncertainty, when Kakashi would wake up, demoralized the twelve-year-old with every hour she was awake. Nevertheless she dragged herself to the bridge and fought against her own fear and uncertainty. It was the evening of the second day, when she was sitting in the kitchen with Tsunami and both women were preparing for the next day and the boys retreated to the bedroom for the evening.

"Thanks for keeping an eye on my father and helping him with the bridge, Sakura-chan." heard the female member of Team 7 the voice of her hostess. 

"No reason to thank me, Tsunami-san" waved Sakura off, after she had dumped the washed rice back into a pot and covered it, "That's our job, after all. But I hope that Kakashi-sensei wakes up soon. He can do more than me." 

~  _ Because I'm still too weak to do anything _ ~ 

She was so absorbed in her thoughts, that she hadn’t even realized Tsunami had stood up and been behind her. Only when she noticed a weight on her shoulder, she realized, that she had drifted away.

"Thanks anyway. You're currently the only one out there with him and that makes me feel better. As for your sensei. I'm sure he'll wake up in the next two days, so do not worry about it." A sincere smile fell on Sakura's features as she heard the words of the elders, leaving her with a warm and comfortable feeling.

' ** _HA! At least one sees our efforts and appreciates them. Because of they are pointless and we can not do anything. When Tsunami feels better, because we take care of the drinking head, then it is worth our fear anyway! CHA!_** ’ Inner seemed to have absorbed the words and used them to whip herselfe up. Maybe Inner was not so wrong with her words, after all Tazuna's daughter appreciated her efforts and if it made her feel comfortable and safer, she would rise again tomorrow and accompany the old curmudgeon to the bridge.

"Thank you Tsunami-san. I will continue to pay attention to Tazuna-san. Does anything else have to be prepared for tomorrow?" She didn’t want to go on talking about her mission, reveal her inability, therefore she distracted the subject and was glad as Tsunami received it.

"No, that's all. I think we should end the day here too and go to sleep as well. Good night, Sakura-chan."

"Hm. Good night Tsunami-san." With a nod, the Haruno said goodbye to the woman and made her way to the bedroom of her team, but she didn’t enter the room. Instead she waited until she heard the door of Tsunamis bedroom, got her flashlight out of her bag and went outside again. When she hadn’t trained the previous night, she wanted it at least that night, without the necessary discipline she would not get on. Thus she started her endurance run and incidentally counted the laps she had made. It was barely a lap more than the first time, but more was more. Why a small victorious smile fell on her lips as she tried to catch her breath. She was not aware that she was being watched.

After Sakura recovered from her endurance training, she sat down on one of the boxes next to the house and stared at her hands for a while.

'Do you think Inner I should try the first exercises from the scroll? Chakra-circulation through the body and exercise with the leaf on the forehead held by chakra has worked smoothly in the academy. But there we had Iruka-sensei who supervised us and our progress. The warning that you shouldn't do the exercises without supervision, because of the risk of chakra-burns or burn in the worst case your chakra-tracks, is certainly not readily written down.’’ Sakura was unsure if she should take the risk. Should something go wrong, she would be an even greater burden than current and she wanted to avoid that. But if she was able to master the exercises, she had at least a greater chance of being helpful.

' ** _You are thinking too much. In the academy we did it without big problems and Iruka-sensei even praised us for our control and didn’t pay any attention to us afterwards. Just go as in the academy, from theory slowly to practice in small steps. You'll know if something goes wrong._** ' Beaten by her own self, Sakura sighed softly. If she remembered correctly, the next exercise was to run up a tree with the help of chakra, but in the darkness she didn’t want to go near the forest, so she would pick another exercise. She remembered an exercise in which one had to concentrate chakra so hard, that it could be visibly released over the chakra points. The important thing was, that you didn’t use too much chakra and at the same time opened the necessary chakra points. Without it would build up an immense pressure and cause burns, in the worst case even by the pressure and too much chakra you could blow away your own hand and that was what she wanted to avoid in any case.

Taking a deep breath, the young Kunoichi straightened her shoulders and sat upright and straight, before mentally reviewing all the basics she had learned at the Academy. Concentrated she looked at her hands, practiced dry opening the chakra points and then collecting chakra in her hand, keeping the amount greatly reduced. Just enough to realize that more energy flowed through her hand than through her other. Then she tried to open her chakra points in her hand without interrupting the chakra flow. When initially nothing was visible, she frowned. She had done everything exactly as described in the manual, but her hand didn’t glow like it should, if the exercise was successful. Maybe she used too little chakra? Once again, she was gathering her chakra in one hand, this time more, so she clearly felt the difference to her other hand, where her chakra flowed normally. When she opened her chakra points afterwards, her hand began to glow light blue and the pressure in her chakra tracks decreased, so also disappeared the light.

"Presumably I have to keep the pressure upright as long as I want to keep the exercise active." murmured she to herself rather than start the third attempt, this time she kept the amount of chakra constant as her hand began to glow again. She minimized and increased the chakra amount, observed and analyzed how the changes yielded different results and after a while of testing, she let go and the chakra-coat disappeared around her hand. It wasn’t until she finished her exercise that she realized how exhausted she felt. She had lost all sense of time and due to clouds in the sky she couldn’t make out the moon.

' ** _Maybe it's better if we stop training and go to sleep for today. We did the exercise and that before the other two, which should be tested first! If that isn't a success, I don't know either. We've really earned the night's sleep, Saku!_** '

A weary smile settled on Sakura's features before she made an almost silent, affirmative "hmhm" and slid from the box she was sitting on. Her legs felt like jelly and she found it hard to put one foot in front of the other, but somehow she made it back to the house, the bathroom, and the bedroom, before she crawled exhausted into her sleeping bag and fell asleep, even before her head landed safely on her pillow.

* * *

The third day didn’t go much differently than the last two days. With tense and aching muscles, the pink haired Kunoichi woke up after her two teammates, stretched herself to at least loosen her muscles a little and then went to the bathroom to wash and dress before going to the kitchen for breakfast. Naruto and Sasuke were discussing what they would do today, better said Naruto pleaded to fight Sasuke again to prove that he is better than the arrogant Uchiha. The two boys didn't even pay attention when she sighed deeply and shook her head. Instead they both left their empty plates and made their way outside, one always trying to push the other out of the way. She had got used to the fact that the two of them had more or less ignored her over the last few days. She couldn't blame them. She hadn't fought with them, hadn't protected their backs as a team normally did. She'd been weak and useless. No wonder they didn't trust her to do anything. She heavily breathed out through her nose after she had put her thoughts back into order and cleared her plate, as well as the other two plates from Naruto and Sasuke, into the sink and then made her way to the bridge, where she was already expected.

Although it had only been two days she had spent on the bridge with the men and Tazuna, she quickly found a certain connection. In the beginning, the men had hardly taken her seriously, had making fun of her, but no matter what tasks they gave the young girl, she went through it without really complaining. Everybody could see her, if something didn't fit her, she was disgusted or something was a little too heavy for her, but she never said it out loud and when she showed up again on the second day and picked up where she had left off, the men slowly began to accept her. On the third day it was almost as if she was part of the team right from the start.

"Nah, if it isn't Pinky-chan! Thought you ran away from us or did someone meet a secret admirer and dump us for him?" heard Sakura a young man calling when she had finally reached the bridge. He had introduced himself as Daichi the day before and had enjoyed teasing the Haruno with his jokes. No wonder when the entire team started laughing as Sakura turned red like a tomato because of the commentary. 

"I told you yesterday to not call me Pinky, Daichi-san. My name is Sakura, S-A-K-U-R-A! Understood?! And I don't have an admirer, I just had to clean up after my two fools of teammates." She grumbled out in annoyance and hit the young man, perhaps in his mid-twenties, on the back of his head, as he was screwing something together on the floor. Which once again provoked an amused laugh on the part of those present.

"Ah, so mean, Pinky-chan, where's the fun? Relax a little." replied Daichi grinning and rubbed himself played indignantly the back of his head. Which caused Sakura to sigh in frustration.

"I'm here to work, Daichi-san. Apropo what's on today?"

"You're too stiff, Pinky. A little fun hasn't hurt anyone yet." she got in response and Daichi pulled the corners of her mouth up a little, provided that he let it go quickly, as he saw, that she frowned her forehead and her face was more like a grimace than a beautiful smile.

"You can get the next boards and porters with some of the guys from below. If we're lucky, we'll get a new shipment at noon today."

With a nod Sakura said goodbye to Daichi and his people and went to work. She dragged boards, pushed boxes from one corner to the next, brought tools or carried buckets of tar to the people who needed them. The mood among the workers was different than in the past days and if she combined it properly, it was because of the approaching delivery, they were expecting. Sakura could only hope that everything would go well.

Tazuna's harsh voice ripped her from her thoughts and activities when he called her name and when she stepped on him questioningly, she recognized his nephew standing behind him.

"Inari told me to tell you that your sensei has woken up and he wants to talk to you. We'll take a break now anyway and hopefully we'll get the delivery soon, so off you go."

Briefly Sakura nodded as a sign of understanding and followed Inari back to the house, where she also immediately entered the bedroom and found an alert Kakashi, as well as a grinning Naruto and a Sasuke leaning against the wall.

"Mah, such serious looks. Where have my sweet little genins gone?" Kakashi mocked a little and his visible eye seemed to grin.

"They've been on their own for the last two and a half days, Kakashi-sensei." Sakura replied as neither of her boys made any effort to say anything. Although she wanted to sound serious, she couldn’t prevent the relief in her voice. Their sensei was awake and would certainly give them instructions on what to do. Everything was better than being on your own without knowing what to do. Kakashi's next reaction she couldn't really interpret it, she couldn’t read enough on his face, though jerked off - whatever it was - quite quickly a relaxed and loose facial expression.

"Moe, so seriously Sakura-chan. Nothing else happened, I suppose. How have you spent the past days?" Kakashi looked at Sakura for a moment before he took a look at the two boys.

"After the fight against Zabuza, Tazuna carried you Kakashi-sensei to his house and as soon as we arrived, Sasuke-teme and I sunk exhausted on our sleeping clothes. Otherwise, Teme and I trained here behind the house. After all, I have to prove to him that I am better, believe it!”

"Hn, shut up Dobe, as if you could defeat me."

Even before an argument could break out, Kakashi interrupted the conflict and devoted himself to the last member of his team. "What about you, Sakura-chan?"

The two boys also turned in her direction and seemed to be waiting for an answer. The glances resting on her made her more nervous than she wanted to admit. Which is why she just shrugged her shoulders a little.

"I helped Tsunami-san and tidied up behind them, when they forgot to clear the table in their eagerness. Otherwise I looked around the village and occasionally I've seen what's going on at the bridge." That she helped build the bridge and trained at night, she rather kept to herself. Why wasn't she really clear, but she had the feeling that nobody on the team would believe her. Because of that she didn't feel well under the stern gaze of her Sensei and she wondered if he had noticed that she was hiding something. Fortunately he didn't go any further, only nodded slightly, before he thoughtfully looked at the two boys and apparently had an idea.

"Since the bridge isn't finished yet and we're going to stay here that long, you're going to train and I know exactly what."

The statement didn't just seem to surprise Sakura. Naruto jumped loudly into the air and was very happy that Kakashi-sensei would finally teach them something and it would surely be a mega cool awesome Jutsu. Even Sasuke was in a better mood than the past days and wore an almost invisible grin on his lips. He seemed just as excited to learn something as Naruto. Even if he would never say it out loud. Sakura herself was also excited, but also a little nervous. Kakashi hadn't taught them a single thing in the last few months since they became a team. So what made him change it now?

‘ ** _Perhaps the fact that we are on a mission, that is not meant for Genins and we have to reckon with opponents which are stronger and faster than us? He would do well to finally teach us something useful._** ' Mentally she could only agree with Inner and slowly followed her team outside and into the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now. Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter.   
> Mistakes can be kept because, as I said, it's my first fanfiction in english and that's not my native language.  
> I would be very happy about comments and you can guess who watched our cherry blossom at night. Only if you want :D
> 
> See you next time.


	3. Encounter in the woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi lets Team 7 train in the forest, but Sakura is quickly deported to Tazuna after her success, all to the displeasure of the pink haired girl.

Something didn't fit. Only what? Inner's answer was logical, but somehow not satisfying. Kakashi-sensei had never taught them anything voluntarily and training sessions consisted only of practice fights, although she mostly stayed behind on the side. Not that she had really seriously participated in the sessions so far. Unfortunately she had to admit this to herself, but it did not change the fact that it was not a normal behaviour of her sensei. Something was going on in his head and Sakura didn't get to the bottom of it much to her displeasure. “Sensei?” Her skepticism had won, she had to ask and when she was sure she had the attention of the copy ninja, she went on. "Why are we going to the woods to train and why right now? Couldn't we have trained what is coming now in Konoha? Sensei expects another attack, doesn't he?" She clearly felt the glances of her teammates on her, but she couldn't really look into anyone's eyes and therefore preferred to stare at the ground in front of her. No, out of kindness Kakashi wouldn't train them. There had to be another reason and the oppressive feeling she had felt since arrival had still not left her. Not even when the mask wearer woke up. "Maa, maa Sakura-chan. You're sometimes too smart for your own good."

Came it nonchalantly from the Jonin. "I haven't taught you the following yet because your teamwork needed more focus and the forest is best for the following exercise because there are many trees, but yes I wouldn't allow training on a mission if it wasn't important. Zabuza is still alive." At first she was hurt by his words, even a little upset. No way she was too smart for her own good and teamwork instead of real training. They were ninjas and her knowledge was all she had and where her strength lay. But she couldn't concentrate any further on the insults when she heard that Zabuza was still alive.

Without first realizing it, her heart rate had increased and her posture stiffened. She didn't even notice how Naruto gave a loud "WHAT?" and didn't want to believe their sensei a word. They had at least seen the hunter-nin take out Zabuza and disappeared. Just in passing she took Kakashi's answer why he assumed the missing-nin was vivid. ~ _ So my feeling hasn't deceived me the last few days. Something, much more someone, is actually waiting for us behind the fog. I haven't been afraid for no reason, but that doesn't make the situation much better. I couldn't even move at the first encounter, or even make any adjustments, how is that supposed to end if... and can the training make any difference at all when we face him again? _ ~ Sakura's mind raced. Only when a Kunai drilled himself into the ground in front of her did she snatch from her thoughts and stare from the Kunai to the evildoer. Did Kakashi actually hang upside down from a branch, only holding himself with his feet to the branch? Wait, wasn't that one of the exercises she had read about in her scroll? "And with the Kunai you mark the height to where you made it, then you see your progress." Heard she the last words of her Sensei and apparently she had spent the whole explanation in her own mind, when she noticed Naruto and Sasuke-kun reaching for the Kunais and racing towards a tree.

She watched her two boys as they made their first attempts, while she herself grabbed the Kunai that was stuck in the ground. ' **We should be able to do this easily. We did a heavier exercise and tree climbing came right after the exercise with the leaf on the forehead. Let's show Kakashi-sensei that we have more than just brain. CHA!** ' Sakura's grip tightened around her Kunai at Inner's words and she agreed inwardly. She wanted to change and she wouldn't be a liability to her team anymore! With these thoughts she approached a tree, concentrated her chakra in her feet and placed it against the tree. Carefully she tried to lift her other foot off the ground and when she didn't slip she collected the same amount of chakra in her other foot and placed it over her other. Contrary to the exercise she had done that night, climbing trees was easy for her. It was almost like normal walking and before she knew it, she had arrived at the top of the tree. A proud grin lay on her features as she let her gaze wander over the treetops. "That was easy." Satisfied, proud and happy she looked down to her team and giggled.

In fact she had done something before Naruto and Sasuke-kun! Even Kakashi seemed to be surprised by her achievement. But her exaltation didn't last long. As soon as he spoke a word of praise, his other words were addressed to her boys and what he said made both of them look at her with a gaze she didn't want to see from her teammates. In particular Sasuke-kun seemed angry and fierce, why wasn’t clear to her. Shouldn't he be more content because she took training seriously? Instead that her success brought her closer to her team, she felt it removed her more from them. It wasn't supposed to be that way, was it?

Uncertainly she looked at her sensei, but he had already turned to his book again. What was she supposed to do now? Without further concrete instructions she repeated the exercise several times until she got bored and stopped on a stable branch. A light sweat film had formed on her skin and her chakra reserves were also largely exhausted. Looking at Naruto and Sasuke-kun she just sighed. Where did they get all their energy from? At least they were as sweaty as she was. While she watched the process of her boys, she got an idea, what she could try out besides the actual task. She had read and also seen older ninjas jump from roof to roof or from branch to branch. If she wasn't wrong, it had to be a principle similar to that of her current exercise. Her chakra would keep her on the branch. At the same time she had to interrupt the chakra flow in order not to stick to the branch when jumping off. For larger jumps she probably had to strengthen her muscles with chakra. That she could try later, first of all she wanted to start her first consideration. Concentrated she focused on her chakra and the branch she was standing on. Currently her chakra held her on the branch so she wouldn't fall down. Carefully Sakura went down in the knees, interrupted the chakra flow and jumped up slightly before she collected chakra in her soles again. It worked! She hadn' fallen from the branch and had actually jumped, even if only a few centimetres. Again she repeated her exercise this time more courageously and after her third or fourth attempt she snorted contentedly.

She was about to try jumping to the neighbouring branch when she heard the voice of her Sensei. She almost slipped and fell because of her surprise. "Since you have mastered the exercise and want to try things with exuberance that are not yet suitable for you and your training level, it is better to guard Tazuna on the bridge. It's gonna take the boys a while to get the slope out, and I'm gonna keep an eye on them. So off you go." Unbelieving she stared at her sensei. He didn't just say that, did he? She was anything but boisterous, but had carefully groped her way forward. Did he even monitor her progress? Probably not. Inside she was boiling as her gaze slipped to Naruto and Sasuke-kun. Those two were like everything he saw. It hadn't bothered her before this mission, but now, now she found it unfair. She had done nothing else but accompany Tazuna and help with the bridge during the past days, while the boys had done nothing for the actual mission. Instead of giving her another task to train, he pushed her away. Why? Did he forget again that there was a missing-nin out there waiting for them? She could use any damn training she could get, especially when she was lagging behind her teammates so much. What was she up to? Probably that was exactly why he didn't consider training her further. In the past she hadn't made efforts to get any better.

Frustrated she climbed down the tree and gave a not euphoric "Hai sensei" off. She was still a teacherpet and did what was asked of her, but as soon as she had left the training arena and could neither hear nor see her boys, another thought came to her. Kakashi would stay with the boys all day to keep an eye on them. He had sent her to the bridge to Tazuna, so he didn't believe Zabuza would show up today. For the day Tazuna was apparently safe and this gave her the opportunity to concentrate on her training without having to sneak out in the middle of the night! She would take this opportunity, who knew what else could happen to them on this mission and Sakura wanted to use her full potential when it came to it. But for that she had to train, something Kakashi-Sensei should have known but didn't follow. At least not with her. But she couldn't really condemn him for the attitude towards her either.

Her legs carried her further into the forest, in the western direction of Naruto and Co. In a clearing she stopped and looked around. A small river flowed into the forest at the end of the clearing and various herbs grew on the grassy area if she correctly assigned some of the plants. Walking on the water was the next exercise after tree walking and since Sakura's chakra reserves were not yet completely empty, she wanted to face the next challenge. If it came to a fight on water again, maybe she could come to the aid of Kakashi-sensei and distract the enemy. 

Determined to master this exercise by tonight, the young Kunoichi stepped to the riverbed and thought. While the surface of a tree was stable, robust and immovable, the water surface was constantly moving, unstable and flexible. Similarly she had to influence the flow of her chakra. With the tree it was constant, needed no adaptation, with the water she was quite sure that she could not proceed in such a way. To test her theory, she placed her palm on the water, collected some chakra in the inner surface of her hand and pressed it against the surface of the water. At first she held herself up, but when she added her second hand and put more weight on her hands, she broke through the surface of the water and landed face first in the cold wet. "Brrrr cold. Remember Sakura, you also have to take extra weight into account. How could I forget," sighed she straightened up again and brushed her wet hair out of her face. She tried herself again and only when the attempt was successful with her hands did she carefully dare her first steps on her feet. The first attempt failed after a few seconds, even the second did not keep her up for long. At her third attempt she got the hang of it and took her first steps on the water. It took all her concentration and she was quite wobbly on her legs, but she didn't fall into the wet. If that wasn't a success, then she didn't know either.

Over time her steps became more secure and her confidence in her ability grew, and she also had to focus less and less on her chakra. It came more and more natural to her, the amount of chakra she needed to walk on the water. After almost two hours, however, her reserves were as good as used up and Sakura settled down exhausted on the grass of the clearing. Tired she saw a smile on her lips in the cloudy sky. She would have an hour or two before supper, so she didn't have to leave immediately. She probably wouldn't even reach Tazuna's house without a break, as ko as she currently was. With this thought the pink haired woman closed her eyes. ~ _ Just for a moment. Then I'm on my way. _ ~ Thought she herself and then slipped into the land of dreams.

A gentle shake on her shoulder and a cold shiver running over her back woke the young Kunoichi from her dreams. "The ground isn't a good place to sleep at night. You'd better go home before it gets dark." Alarmed Sakura straightened up. The voice seemed anything but familiar to her and as her eyes looked at the person, she instinctively grabbed to her kunai bag. However, she had not counted on the face that looked towards her. In front of her or better next to her squatted a girl? She was not quite sure, but the fine facial features and the long dark brown hair, which shimmered slightly in the light of the day and the warm, almost friendly expression in the eyes of the unknowns spoke for her theory. "Don't worry, I mean no harm to you. I only saw you lying here when I was looking for medicinal herbs and thought I'd wake you up before it got too cold. The nights here are not exactly warm to spend them on the ground." It was the way the unknown spoke and behaved that made Sakura relax and her hand slip from her pocket.

Even though Sakura visibly relaxed, she did not turn her gaze away from the person. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone here, but thanks for waking me." Danger didn't seem to come from the girl, yet it was surprising for Sakura to meet someone here. After all they were in the middle of a forest. "You said you collected medicinal plants? For what? Is anyone seriously injured in the village?" Even though she didn't live in the land of the waves, Sakura has always been a good-hearted person who couldn't see others suffer, at least not those who were innocent, which in her opinion all the people living here in the village were. "No problem, I wasn't expecting to meet anyone here either. Are you one of those ninjas who arrived here a few days ago? And yes I am collecting medicinal herbs for a person who is very important to me. Nothing serious, but some of the plants here help with the healing process, which is why I collect them. I am Haku, by the way". Without really being able to control it, a smile fell on Sakura's lips. "Pleased to meet you, Haku, I am Sakura and yes I arrived here three days ago with my team. I don't think anybody expected anyone here, if you like I can help you collecting so that your important person gets better quickly. Maybe..." Sakura was silent for a moment and looked uncertainly at Haku. Could she? Was she allowed? Was it all right at all? She had no idea. "So ähm just in case it's not too much to ask and you have time, of course. Do you think you could explain a little bit about the different medicinal plants to me? With that knowledge I could certainly help my team." With an insecure smile she looked at Haku, waited for what she would say and hoped she would not meet deaf ears. That she surprised Haku with her question or request was recognizable by the facial expression, which only normalized after a few moments. "I think it can be done, just not today. Surely your team is waiting for you and I am also expected. How about tomorrow after dinner? The hours until nightfall?" With a nod Sakura gave her consent and straightened up afterwards. "I'll see you tomorrow, Haku. Bye." With these words the pink haired Kunoichi said goodbye and made her way back to Tsunami, where she was already expected. Fortunately neither Kakashi nor Naruto or Sasuke-kun were back. But the three were not long in coming and together they ate dinner.

The mood at the dining table was tense and her two boys were in one of their many rivalry fights when Sakura noticed a picture, and she asked the family about it. What followed was the life story of Inari's father figure, the hero of the village, followed by an outburst on the part of the boy and Sakura could only watch as Inari made off. Her gaze automatically wandered to Naruto, worry in her gaze, but how should she help? When her blonde chaot got up and left the house, Sakura helped Tsunami clear the table and apologized quietly for addressing the issue. Sasuke-kun and Kakashi were gone after she had helped out in the kitchen and Sakura decided to do her endurance training before getting ready for the night. She was just coming out of the shower when Kakashi dragged her two chaots into the house and thundered them to sleep before they continued training the next morning. That night Sakura didn't sneak out of the house, but slept restfully and peacefully in her sleeping bag, until she was awakened by the first rays of sunshine in the morning and this time she was awake before her teammates.


	4. Prove that you mean what you say!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commissioned by Kakashi to protect Tazuna alone. Sakura finds herself in a situation in which she is forced to either give in or follow her words with deeds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everybody. Here's another chapter for you. But to continue writing I need your help, because you can actively contribute to the story! More information can be found at the end of this chapter. Have fun reading.

As she had thought, Kakashi sent her to the bridge after breakfast to watch Tazuna. She wasn't thrilled. Even when Sensei told her that he trusted her and that's why he sent her to the bridge-builder and swished her through her hair and then disappeared into the forest with the boys, changed nothing. If she had still been in Konoha and had not known anything about this mission, she would probably have been overwhelmed by the trust placed in her. Now things looked different and with Zabuza out there she found it irresponsible of Kakashi to leave her alone with Tazuna. Who knew what could happen and she wasn't strong enough to do anything. So why did Sensei send her - an inexperienced genin - to the bridge when he could send a shadow clone or something like that? That would certainly be the safer way. No, she didn't feel well and whether she wanted to or not, the fear crept deeper into her bones with every step she took. At first, she had no choice. Kakashi-sensei was unconscious, but now it was a different situation and still he sent her away! Sasuke-kun alone would be the better choice, even Naruto with his tremendous stamina. She had nothing but her mind and it certainly didn't help her in a fight. And what if Kakashi didn't show up in time and the mission failed because of her? Not to mention that they weren't supposed to be here after the mission had jumped from C-Rang to A-Rang.

Sakura was about to hyperventilate as her thoughts floated around all the possible things that could happen. **'Pull yourself together! We can't afford a panic attack now. Breathe in and out deeply and focus on what's going on instead of what might be.'** Seldom was Sakura so grateful for her inner voice as in this moment. Without her inner self she would have succumbed to her fear and even if it had not completely disappeared, the words helped her to come down and clear her head. On the bridge, she had to be focused and mindful. Before taking the final steps to the construction site, she closed her eyes and took several deep breaths until she felt her pulse had calmed down and approached the workers with a friendly charisma.

She tried not to let on. Even when Tazuna was surprised to appear at her, she tried not to let anything show. "I did the training exercise yesterday at the first go. The guys haven't done it yet, so they're still training today, while Sensei sent me here." Explained she with a smile and set to work. Not that she hadn't missed the men somehow, they always managed to lift her spirit. But that day it wasn't easy for her, the disappointment was too deep, so she wasn't really talkative. The workers had to be blind and deaf if they didn't notice the mood of Sakura, what they were doing and gave the young Kunoichi worried looks again and again.

So far the morning went smoothly and the bridge work progressed well until two unknown figures appeared on the scene. As soon as the strangers could spot the workers, Metal flashed up, which put Sakura on alert. "All off the bridge and seek shelter." she shouted across the square as she pulled a few Kunais out of her pocket and threw them at the men running for the workers, just as the Kunoichi had given her order. Her throwing arm was not the best and she missed her real targets. But the Kunais were enough to stop the attackers for a short time. "Girly wants to play, but every kid knows that sharp objects aren't for little kids." One of the unknowns had started to speak and sounded more than just spiteful and arrogant. He was probably right about her looks, she was just a child, but that didn't mean she couldn't do anything, even though she felt helpless and weak. But Sakura was no longer a child, she was a genin from Konoha and was therefore considered an adult. So the strangers had no real idea of ninjas. This didn't change the situation, but Sakura was at least slightly afraid. Against normal, untrained people, she might have a chance to hold out until her team came to her aid. All she had to do was stall time and keep the men away from Tazuna.

Sakura's body was tense and her hands trembled from fear as she embraced the grip of her Kunai. Her chest felt like tied up, making it harder for her to breathe, but her eyes and attention continued to rest on the enemies. The first one starts moving, his two weapons drawn, while his colleague behind him followed and Sakura reacted. Under the first attack she ducked away, a little too slowly for her taste, as the blade cut through the ends of her pink hair and took herself out of her opponent's career with a side step. Using the momentum of her own movement, she turned slightly sideways and raised her left leg to kick the front man in the lower back while trying to block the attack of the second with her Kunai. She didn't quite succeed when she felt the tip of the knife cut her skin on her upper arm. The wound wasn't deep, yet it hurt and Sakura hissed softly as she avoided another attack with a roll. She had hardly any time to relax or think when she was standing up. Sakura cursed her non-existent condition when she noticed that she began to sweat. She had just survived the first wave of attacks. But she had no time to think about it when the two men attacked her again.

With pure violence and brutality came the attacks, which gave no openings for counterattacks, at least she did not recognize any. Too inexperienced in this area, she had no choice but to avoid the blows, but the more time passed, the more tired and slower she became, which is why she was hit more and more often. Sakura was so focused on dodging the attacks to collect as few wounds as possible that she didn't even notice the two hired men drifting her closer and closer to the end of the bridge.

She jumped a few meters backwards after she had fended off the second man's knife with her Kunai, and when she wanted to take another step backwards, she felt no ground on which her foot could land. "Looks like you can't escape any further, Girly. Give up and leave the old man to us. Maybe we'll even let you live, graciously." The statement from the man with the knife came confidently, his ` _after we still had a little fun with you_ ` remained unsaid, but one recognized the unsaid words clearly in his dirty grin. The thought of what the men were probably going to do involuntarily chased Sakura by itself, a freezing shiver over her back and her grip around her Kunai solidified so that her ankles stood out white.

Adrenaline pumped her blood faster through her body, causing a rush in her ears as she tried to find a way out of the unfavorable situation. Cursed be Kakashi and his supposed trust in her! Without knowing how long the fight had lasted, nobody had come to her aid and Sakura didn't know how long she could hold out. Her body hurt and her wounds didn't stop bleeding. Everything in her screamed for rest and a break, but if she gave up now everything would have been in vain. The whole fight, her determination to become better, she was not allowed to go limp, no matter how exhausted and anxious she was. She neither wanted to die nor be responsible for the mission's failure. Without going beyond her own limits, she would achieve nothing and all she had set herself would have been just loose words. She had to do a miracle herself and as much as she cursed and needed Kakashi and her team at the moment, she somehow had to do it on her own. Her gaze fell on one of the ropes used by the workers to attach the small boats to the bridge when they were transporting material to the end of the bridge or working from underneath it, and a plan formed in her head. Daring and possibly her only chance to get out of the whole thing halfway undamaged, but it was better than nothing. She just had to hope it worked.

With a little new courage, Sakura turned her gaze on the men in front of her who were still waiting for an answer. It seemed as if they had seen her silence as agreement, for the dirty grin was still on one's face, but when he saw her gaze, his gaze suddenly darkened. "Make no mistake, little one. You can't get out of here and it would be too bad if you risked your life for the old man." Again he tried to make her give up. An undertaking which didn't bear fruits. "Forget it! I am a ninja from Konohagakure and will not let you Tazuna even bend a hair."

Both men narrowed their eyes to her words. "Too bad, then you won't live to see the next day, Girly." And with this statement the two stormed towards her again one after the other. ' **Duck!** ' Inner screamed as the man with the knife tried to slit her throat. ' **Squat and make a turn and kick his legs away, as Iruka-Sensei showed us. Then roll to the side to avoid the second attack and try to get behind the second man. Kick him in the back or belly from the bridge into the water.** ' Sakura didn't have time to think when she followed the instructions inners. Even when one of the first man's two blades cut deep into her side, she had no time to think about what exactly was happening. All that prevailed in her head was the fear that if she didn't fight any further, she would die here. Rolling sideways, she managed to stand up behind her attacker and when the attacker turned around to smash his blades at her again, she pulled out her leg and kicked him in the stomach with all the strength she could muster. Clattering sounded as the man dropped his two blades and a loud splash signaled to her that she had managed to get one of the attackers into the water. The man's panic calls, however, did not penetrate through the rustling in her ears while her attention was focused on the remaining man on the bridge.

Her action seemed to make the man even more mad as he furiously stormed her. "How dare you bitch, he can't swim!" The man screamed angrily, but Sakura couldn't make sense of his words at first. Again she ducked away under one of his attacks and slid backwards from the bridge. She didn't have much time to put her plan into action. As soon as the man noticed that the characteristic splashing did not happen, he would come and see for himself. Her advantage at this moment was her chakra control and the training session with Kakashi-Sensei as she moved along below the bridge using her chakra.

Just as her second attacker was about to follow the missing sound of diving into the water, Sakura reappeared at the other end of the bridge, grabbed the rope lying on the ground and threw it around the man several times before attaching the ends to one of the poles so that he could no longer move. "Fucking brat, get me out of here!" Out of instinct, Sakura grabbed a wooden plank and pulled it over the man's head, who fell unconscious.

' **We made it!** ' Unable to move, Sakura heard Inner's voice in her head and gradually the fog that had settled around her thoughts cleared. A gurgling sound ripped her from her mind and with her eyes wide open she stared over the edge of the unfinished bridge, where she saw a hand sticking out of the water for a moment before she disappeared and only bubbles could be spotted before they disappeared as well. All of a sudden the events came back from what had happened and what she had done. Her legs gave way under her, the fight took place again in her head and her side hurt like hell. But what shocked her the most was that she was responsible for the death of a man. She had pushed him into the water and he had drowned because of her! Well she didn't know he couldn't swim and he had tried to kill her as well, but... It was too much for Sakura, her body exhausted from fighting, trembling under the weight of her thoughts and deeds, her wounds hurting and never in her young life had she felt so empty and at the same time so miserably bad. Inevitably her fingers clawed into the skin of her thighs, leaving more bloody scratches on her skin.

"Hey Kid, you all right? You... You really took 'em out, Kid, are you...?" Tazuna had moved slowly out of his hiding place after he couldn't hear anything more on the bridge and was amazed when he found one of the attackers tied and unconscious to a pole, just next to the brat who had been looking after him for the past few days. She had actually made it and even if he couldn't spot the second man, the brat didn't seem to be on alert, so the other man had to be gone too. At least that was what Tazuna hoped. But when he approached Sakura and approached her closer, his further words got stuck in his throat as he looked into the empty eyes of the girl he had approached. Not only her look was disturbing, but also her appearance, especially her wound at the side. "Kid you are hurt!” His words seemed to have an effect on the brat as life slowly returned to the green eyes.

With no further thought, he called one of his workers and ordered him to pick up bandages and then take care of Sakura's wounds. Afterwards he turned towards the girl and laid uncertainly a hand on her shoulder. "I sent someone out to fix you up. You did a good job, thank you." His gaze wandered to the unconscious man. "We take care of the man afterwards, what happened to the other one" he soon regretted the words he had uttered when he noticed Sakura flinching. "He... I pushed him... into the water and he... he drowned." Tazuna hardly understood them, the words Sakura pronounced, so quiet and so rough they came, while the girl tried to suppress her tears. At least that's what he assumed, as her voice sounded. Unfortunately, he had no idea what he could or should do. His daughter was an adult and had never been in such a situation, so he could not act out of experience. "Shall I inform your sensei?” When initially no reaction came from the Haruno, Tazuna sighed overtaxed and was grateful for the second when one of his employees arrived with the bandages.

For Sakura the world had come to a standstill and she wished for nothing more than to turn back time to undo these terrible minutes. She had a human life on her conscience! _How would she ever face her team or even her parents? Was that what her parents meant when they told her that she should carefully consider her vocation and that it would not be child's play?_ Sakura tried to swallow the lump down her throat. She had read that the day would come when she would take a life. Even Iruka-Sensei had mentioned it, but it would be much later in her career. _What would her parents think of her now, or Naruto, Kakashi. What would Sasuke-kun think of her? Especially now that she was in this miserable condition? No, she couldn't stand the looks, it... nobody from her team was allowed to know what had happened_! ' **Then you should say it to Tazuna-san, otherwise he will inform Sensei.** ' Shocked, Sakura's eyes widened and without thinking she jumped up with a loud "No", only to collapse again because of her pain.

"Careful, Pinky. You are injured and should not make any rash movements. Here, I'll take care of your wounds, okay?" Sakura nodded briefly, trusted the man she had been working with on the bridge for the past few days, but her eyes were still on the bridge builder. "Tazuna-san it... it's all right. Sensei doesn't need to be informed. He already has enough to do with my teammates" for a moment she remained silent and pulled her face in pain when her side was bandaged. "You'd better go see Tsunami and get the wound stitched up. Look up pretty deep. But I'm not an expert on these things." Sakura nodded at the words again and tried not to flinch any further. "If it's all right with Tazuna-san, I would go to Tsunami-san and have myself patched up, if... if I'm coming back for today I don't know." She hated herself for her weakness, but it all hurt and she was afraid. Fear that more men appeared and she was forced to fight. She would not survive that again today. Luckily Tazuna seemed to see it that way and let her go after she had finished her treatment. Carefully she straightened up and her eyes fell on the water again. Shuddering, she turned to leave as she discovered the men's weapons. Without thinking, she picked them up and took them with her. The worried glances of the bridge workers she ignored.

That Tsunami was beside herself with worry when she saw Sakura in her condition was an understatement and only with difficulty could Sakura convince the woman that at least for now there was no further danger. Her wound on the side actually had to be sewn and during the procedure the young Kunoichi asked not to mention any of the events to her team. The sceptical expression Sakura tried to overlook. She didn't want to be seen as weak and didn't want to see the pitiful looks or the contempt when her team learned about the things she had done today. All she wanted was to forget what had happened.

After a short break and a small snack, which she had taken only for the sake of Tsunami, because she didn't really feel hungry at all, she let the lady know that she had to get her head free and would therefore be outside. Since she didn't plan to come back so quickly, she immediately told her not to wait for her for dinner. Then she disappeared into the forest and made her way to the clearing where she would meet Haku later. She needed distance and time to process what had happened and she couldn't get back to the bridge, at least not so fast.

With slow steps she stepped on the clearing and lay backwards on the grass. Her eyes were on the sky, but she wasn't really there. As much as she tried, she could not forget the fight on the bridge, her actions and deeds. _Could she forget it at all?_ _And would it eventually come out? What would she even tell her team if they noticed her wounds?_ She could not hope for her luck that they would not perceive it. Naruto didn't like to be the brightest in the group, but he always paid attention to her condition. More to her chagrin, she would rather have Sasuke-kuns. For her present situation, she would prefer both boys to show the ignorance of the Uchiha. Kakashi-Sensei was another thing, after all he wasn't Jonin for nothing _if he would accept an accident at work on the bridge as an explanation?_

Sakura was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't notice how quickly time flew by and a figure in the evening approached. "You're early." Noticed the person and tore with it the young Haruno from her thought carousel. "Ah, Haku. Yes. It... Well, let's just say I avoid my team a little bit." She explained herself, shamefacedly dodging the older boy's gaze as he approached. Therefore she didn't notice him raising one of his eyebrows. But he didn't get an answer, instead he noticed the bandages on the young Kunoichi, which surprised him even more. "You look as if you got into a fight. Do you want to talk about it? We can also search for herbs for better wound healing. After all, you wanted to learn something about such plants." His offer surprised Haku himself, but strangely enough he could not bear the sight of an injured Sakura. He was more than aware that they were enemies, but she was somehow so similar to him that he couldn't help it.

A few moments passed in which Sakura thought about the offer before she nodded timidly. "Sensei sent us to the forest yesterday to train and I mastered the task right away, so he decided to send me alone to the bridge today to keep an eye on our client while he monitors the training progress of my teammates. Until midday everything was fine. Then, suddenly, two men with weapons who had been waiting for my client appeared. I was the only one who could guarantee safety, but I didn't really have experience in fighting...". She started telling the story and at the last sentence she pulled her face a little. She knew that it was her own fault that she had so little experience. "Well... anyway, I tried to keep the two men in check, hoping that Sensei and my team would come, but the fight was anything but easy and took its time. At some point the two had driven me into a rather dicey situation and I only had one chance when a rough plan had been put together in my head. End of the whole. A man is ..." here she hesitated something and fumbled unwell at the hem of her dress. "One drowned after I pushed him into the water, I tied the second one with a rope." She confessed vaguely and Haku could see that she not only blamed herself for the man's death, but also did not know how to deal with it.

For a while it remained silent between the two. No one wanted to say anything or could say anything until Sakura could bring herself to open her mouth again. "I know it's part of being a ninja. I just thought it wouldn't be so early and if I am honest, I would have thought that my team would at least be at my side... Now, now I don't even want them to know about the whole thing." Again she was silent for a moment before she exhaled loudly and tightened her shoulders. "Shall we begin with the lesson? I need something to keep my mind occupied with and the faster and better my wounds heal, the fewer questions hopefully come up." Even if she didn't feel like it, a mild, timid smile lay down on Sakura's lips and Haku couldn't help but nod before searching with her for the first medicinal plants and explaining exactly what they were used for. Afterwards, he processed the collected herbs with her and explained the correct application, while helping her re-bandage the wounds. Time passed faster than they knew and at some point it was too dark to stay outside. Besides, Sakura's team was certainly waiting for her, or at least Tazuna and his daughter. With friendly and grateful words Sakura said goodbye to Haku and made her way back. Noticing that Naruto and Sasuke had disappeared again for training, she breathed a sigh of relief. Thanks to Tsunami she even had something to eat and then she disappeared into the bedroom to go to sleep. Hoping that she could just forget the day and check it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it. As I said before, you can play an active part in the development of the story. For that I need your opinion on how to proceed. I have two ideas what could happen and each idea leads to a different development. You can vote which way the story should go:
> 
> A: It's more or less like the original story and Sakura returns to Konoha with her team and things will happen there till the chunin exams. 
> 
> B: It's not going to be like the anime/manga and something happens so Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi return to Konohagakure without Sakura.
> 
> The decision is yours :D 
> 
> And by the way thank you for your kudos and commens :)


	5. One step towards her Nindo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little sad if I'm honest. Only two readers gave their opinion about the further course of the story. I thought it would be a good thing if I let you help me decide. But well... Therefore I will continue with my variant now :). But don't worry I'll always ask for your opinion when I again have two possible ways to go.   
> Starting with the next chapter, the story won't follow the original anymore, so I think it will become an AU. Please don't be angry with me about that, but I just have to change a few things in the course of the story and I hope that you will continue to follow the story anyway. 
> 
> Apart from that I wish you a lot of fun reading and I am curious: what are your favourite pairs in Naruto? Are there favorites who should be with whom later?

Bathed in sweat, she was startled high in the middle of the night with a silent cry on her lips. Her breathing went intermittently and the images of her dream danced in front of her inner eye, so that she only slowly became aware of her surroundings. Without realizing it, Sakura had clawed her hands into the sleeping bag and trembled all over her body. A loud snoring ripped her from her mind and instinctively she reached for her weaponbag to pull out a Kunai until she realized what, or rather who, had caused the snoring. Blinking, she looked at the sleeping figure of Naruto lying stretched out over his sleeping bag, almost using Sasuke as a cuddle-pillow.

Just a few days ago she would have made a riot at the sight and ensured that Naruto didn't get too close to her Sasuke-kun, but now the situation was different and Sakura had bigger problems than to get upset about the strange sleeping position of her teammate. She almost reached for a weapon to attack him! And that only because she was plagued by nightmares that made her relive the situation on the bridge over and over again. She was so alert that she couldn't tell the difference between friend and foe! That couldn't happen to her again. Fortunately nobody seemed to have woken up because of her. A good sign, because she didn't want to explain herself to anyone.

Slowly her body calmed down again and she wanted to try to sleep a bit more and turned to her side, which inevitably made her flinch. She had forgotten her wounds. Cursing softly, she lay back on her back and tried to suppress the pain. Naruto's snoring distracted her from both the pain and her thoughts and never in her short life had she been grateful for it. Normally she wouldn't get a wink of sleep from the noise, but now it was a welcome distraction that slowly but surely let her slide back to sleep.

The next time she woke up, she was startled again from her sleep. This time she had also been haunted by a nightmare, but the slamming of a door had caused her to be startled. A little disoriented, the young Kunoichi looked around the room until she noticed that neither Naruto nor Sasuke were in the room. So they were already awake and stood up without bothering to wake her up. Did they even know that she was there? For a moment Sakura shook her head and rose slowly and carefully. It was better that her team wasn't around. She still didn't know how to face the others and she didn't want to explain the bandages that covered her wounds.

After dressing laboriously and replacing her damaged outfit with a new, less conspicuous one, she quietly walked downstairs to the kitchen and realized that nobody was sitting at the dinner table. It couldn't possibly be so late that everyone had left the house, could it? A soft humming was heard and Tazuna's daughter stepped through the back door with a basket of laundry. Both women looked at each other silently for a moment as they became aware of each other, before Tsunami freed herself from her rigidity and closed the door behind her and laid down the basket full of laundry. "You're awake. I told the boys and your sensei that you had a little accident yesterday and that you should take it easy today. Father and I thought that you deserved a day off and I made sure that you could have a good night's sleep. I hope that was in your interest after you insisted yesterday that we don't mention any of the incidents to your team." A sincere smile Tsunami threw to Sakura, who needed a moment to process the information. Without realizing it, her posture relaxed and her shoulders slumped down with a deep exhaler. "Thank you Tsunami-san. It's... It's really in my sense." The woman could not have guessed it, but with her action she saved Sakura another long and possibly cruel day at the bridge and an explanation to her team. Should the boys consider her incompetent and weak for injuring herself while building the bridge. She preferred to be seen this way, rather than that they found out that she had killed someone and had to fight alone. "Can I do anything here Tsunami-san?" She could not do nothing and indulge her thoughts. The nightmares were still deep in her bones and she needed distraction. The help was even quite right for Tsunami, as she found out and the young Kunoichi was sent off with a small shopping list.

There wasn't much going on in the streets. Here and there Sakura saw some children lurking behind house corners and few women were like her on the way to shop. Most of the men were busy building the bridge and those who weren't worked on their houses to protect them from decay or spent time with their families. A deep voice calling Sakura's name ripped the young girl from her observations and with a questioning look, tilting her head a little to the side and looking at the man who had called her. It was none other than the one who had given her a makeshift treatment on the bridge yesterday. "Sakura on your feet again? Hopefully you are doing well so far? Tsunami sewed up the wound, I guess?" As soon as the young man had stopped in front of her, his questions pelted down on her and Sakura had to concentrate not to overhear anything. "Ah... Yes, Tsunami-san treated me and let me sleep in. She also told my team that I should take it easy today, but I couldn't just sit around and do nothing, which is why I'm running errands for Tsunami-san." To support her words, she held up the shopping list she had received from Tazuna's daughter. "That's good. Some workers were worried this morning when you didn't come, but a strangely masked man with silver hair. He said he would watch out today." Sakura was surprised by the news, she hadn't assumed that Kakashi would take care of the safety at the bridge. Was it really him or had he assigned a clone to do the job? Inside she shook her head. There were other things she should worry about instead of her sensei. He would know what he was doing. "The man is according to the description Kakashi-Sensei and under his guard you should be much safer than under mine. Tell the others that I send my greetings and that I am well so far."  _ As well as one can feel after the events _ , she thought, while she smiled mildly at the man in front of her. The worries he had expressed left a warm and pleasant feeling inside her and she found that strangers she knew for just a few days cared more about her well-being than her own team. After all, neither Naruto nor Sasuke or even Kakashi had asked her about her days, how they had gone and nobody had stayed behind when Tsunami told them she had an accident. "I will tell the others. However, I am sure they will be happy when you replace your Sensei again. It is clearly another working without you. Recover well and see you then !" With these words he waved to her once more and made his way back to the bridge and also Sakura made her way again to do her shopping. Her thoughts were stuck on her latest insight and she couldn't let go.

It didn't take her long to do the errands for Tsunami, but she took her time on her way and strolled leisurely through the village and on the way back to the house she took a somewhat different path than she had taken before. Gato's influence had left its traces clearly visible. The houses looked almost dilapidated, the shops had only few goods and much was relatively expensive, despite lacking quality. The prevailing poverty could also be recognized by how many villagers were dressed and in general the mood on Sakura seemed more than depressed. Here and there she caught fragments of conversations, some with a glimmer of hope, others however clearly more sceptically in view of previous experiences, which concerned the building of the bridge and sometimes fell also the name of Inaris foster father, the hero figure of the village. Her team was also mentioned in some conversations as a sign that everything would go well now that Ninjas would be guarding the construction of the bridge. 

As soon as Sakura had heard this sentence, she stopped as if rooted. Naruto would have been happy with this comment, she could bet her long hair on it. She herself could not deny that the statement affected her and as she continued to listen to the conversation with half her ear, she became more aware of what exactly she was feeling. She had seen how the people lived here, in what circumstances their children grew up and how hopeless some of the people here seemed. Gato's actions had brought the village and its inhabitants into their present state and it was only now that she really realized what the bridge meant and could mean for all these people here. They relied on the bridge to give them a better life and Sakura helped to keep this hope alive. With her action yesterday on the bridge, she had not only done her duty as a ninja, but also maintained the fragile hope of the villagers! This realization hit her unexpectedly, but in a good way. Yes, she had ended a life and it would haunt her for a long time, but without this act, Gato's plan to prevent the construction of the bridge might have been successful and the villagers would continue to suffer.  **'You say it, Saku! We cannot allow this Gato to continue to make life difficult for the people here. Tazuna and his family as well as the bridge builders have taken care of us, given us a roof over our head, provided us with food and inquired about our well-being. We cannot let them down!'**

Her hands clenched and a determined expression solidified in Sakura's eyes. She may have been behind in her training and certainly was weak, but she would do her best to help people here in Wave for a better future. Even though she was afraid to face such a fight again. Her team was all these people had here to protect the tender hope the bridge promised and Sakura couldn't reconcile it with herself if she didn't give everything to not disappoint them. With new courage she gathered herself and marched back to Tsunami where she gave up the groceries. Even if she was hurt, even if the thought of another fight made her blood freeze and even if she was anything but strong, she couldn't just stand by and do nothing! Therefore, as soon as she had put off her shopping, she left the house, saying that she was going for a walk. No, she wouldn't take a walk, but she didn't want to worry the woman either, so she didn't tell her about her plan to train. Her legs carried her to the clearing by themselves and with a loud snort Sakura dropped her weapon bag to the ground and prepared herself to go through the Katas she had learned in the academy. Kakashi hadn't taught them much yet, nothing at all, so she had to fall back on the knowledge she had so far, it wasn't much, but still better than nothing. She would simply repeat the exercises from the academy over and over again and work on her endurance and strength. She didn't notice she was being watched doing the exercises at the time.

Sweat dripped from her forehead, her muscles hurt and her wound on the side burned like fire. Sakura, breathing heavily, tried to calm down and watched the earth in front of her as she propped her hands on her knees. A few hours had passed since she had arrived at the clearing and she felt like she had a marathon behind her. All she had done was go through the academy katas and the muscle building exercises she knew. With one arm she wiped her wet forehead and slowly stepped up to the river to at least cool off a bit. After rudely washing off the sweat, she drank a few swallows and then briefly distorted her face painfully as a movement hurt her wounds. "Shouldn't you be resting?" she suddenly heard a voice and was startled, her hand reaching for the non-existent bag to pull out a Kunai. "Easy, it's just me." Sakura blinked several times and only slowly her posture relaxed as she recognized her visitor. "Haku. What... What are you doing here?" She had clearly not expected his appearance. "I could ask you the same thing. After what happened yesterday, shouldn't you rest better? The herbs help to regenerate the skin, but they don't do miracles either". Ashamed, the Kunoichi looked to the ground. "I... You're actually right, but I... I can't allow myself to relax and rest." Unconsciously she had clenched her hands to fists and slowly raised her eyes to look at the boy in front of her. "When I do nothing, the dreams come and everything from the bridge happens again and again before my eyes. And when I went shopping for Tsunami-san this morning, I realized how much the people here suffer under Gato and what the bridge means to them. I can't do nothing while my team is training. I'm already hanging back in my training anyway, I can't allow myself to let up for even one day. The people rely on Tazuna and my team and when I... and when I have to push my body to its limits, then that's -" The young Kunoichi couldn't even finish her sentence, when she tipped over exhausted. Just in time she was caught by two arms, before she would have landed on the ground.

Haku looked thoughtfully at the girl in his arms. Shortly after meeting her and her team, he began to observe her. He had observed her nightly training sessions, even her shift on the bridge and also the fight. Zabuza had instructed him to keep an eye on the group while he recovered. But the girl in the group was different from her team, which caused him to keep a closer eye on her. Her chakra control was unique and when he told her about the medicinal plants the day before, she had listened to him and asked intelligent questions. She cared about her team and also about the villagers, although she connected nothing more than the order with them. "Why do you go so far for strangers?" He needed an answer to appease this gnawing feeling.

Sakura moved slowly in Haku's arms as she heard the question and carefully peeled herself out of the boy's warm arms. Irritated, she looked at Haku, not quite understanding why he was asking the question. Yes, why did she go so far for strangers?  **'Because it doesn't matter whether they are strangers or not. They have accepted us and put their trust in us. The least we can do is give our best'** . Her eyes slightly widened at Inner's thoughts and a shallow but slightly sad smile fell on her lips. "It's my job to take care of Tazuna's safety, but... But it's more than just a job." The confusion was clearly visible from Haku, which is why Sakura tried to find the right words. "Before this mission, I always thought I knew what it meant to be a shinobi, but I was miles away. So far I have been a passive observer as part of my team and have never really put much effort into my training." She confessed meekly and was ashamed of her own naivety. "Tsunami was the first to appreciate my efforts after we arrived here. Even the helpers at the bridge quickly took me in, even though they didn't want to believe that I - a pink haired little girl - was supposed to be a help. The people here rely on my team - on me, but I am nothing more than average compared to my team. I don't come from any clan, have no big chakra reserves, don't know many Jutsus or even own a Kekkei Genkai and yet the people here count on me. They..." Slowly tears came into her eyes and ran unhindered over Sakura's cheeks. "They are more concerned about my well-being than my own team! Although the villagers don't know me, they are like ... like ... I cannot disappoint them. Without knowing it, the people have given me something and I could never face them again if I didn't give my best." Sakura's tears flowed down her cheeks freely and she hated herself for crying in front of Haku at the moment. A ninja showed no emotion, but she could not stop the tears when she realized how true her words were. Her team had hardly interacted with her in the last few days and she felt as if she was air, were it not Tazuna, Tsunami and the others at the bridge. Until now she hadn't even known how lonely she was and how much she needed her team and how disappointed she was of them at the same time. The emotions flooded her as well as the old feelings of the past days and at that moment it was too much for the young Kunoichi from Konoha.

Haku was amazed when he was honest. He would never have expected such an answer and the emotional breakdown that followed. They were not so dissimilar. While he was rejected and almost killed because of his Kekkei Genkai, she was apparently not expected to do anything because she had none. The villagers had given her something he had received from Zabuza. So it was no wonder to him that she wanted to help these people. Maybe he should talk to Zabuza. "That is a good reason and I am sure the villagers will appreciate it. Come I'll take care of your wounds again."

After Haku had taken care of Sakura's wounds, they spent some time in the clearing before Sakura said goodbye with the words that she didn't want to let Tsunami wait too long and Haku disappeared back into the forest. He had learned some things that he wanted to discuss with his master. Sakura was just re-entering Tazuna's house when she was already being pulled into a warm embrace. "I was worried Sakura-chan. You've been away so long!" Tsunami had immediately embraced the Haruno when she had seen her coming through the door and Sakura only brought out a quiet " Sorry " before she explained to her that she had needed time for herself in the forest and had forgotten the time about it. As a small compensation for making the woman so worried, she helped Tsunami with dinner and wasn't really surprised when her sensei showed up and said the boys would train for a while more so they could put the food aside. The examining gaze of Kakashi was not perceived by Sakura during the meal, instead she disappeared early into the room to go to sleep. She wanted to go back to the bridge the next day to face her fear. Half asleep she heard Naruto and Sasuke come back that night, but none of them said a word. On the sixth day she stepped back on the bridge and was warmly welcomed by the workers and in the evening Sasuke and Naruto proudly announced that they had finally made it to the top of the tree. With a smile, she congratulated her boys, only to receive the cold shoulder from Sasuke, while Naruto began to radiate with joy at her recognition. On the seventh day, a thick mist had settled over the bridge as she appeared at the workplace together with Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke and Tazuna, and at the sight she was presented with, an icy shiver ran down her back. Workers with whom she had worked lay bleeding on the floor and no longer moving. "Zabuza" she breathed quietly and as if on command, said man stepped out of the fog with another person and Sakura froze.


	6. Questions over questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kudos, comments, bookmarks and subscriptions! It means a lot to me and gives me the motivation to keep going with this story.
> 
> I am appreciative for all you comments. I love knowing how you think about my story, even your own speculations are always welcome with me. (Sometimes they even help me to come up with new ideas.) And I'm really curious about what you'll think of this chapter.

Time seemed to stand still when Sakura discovered the two enemy ninjas. She knew there would be another fight. Kakashi-sensei had told them that Zabuza was alive, but now to see him again, surrounded by the dead workers and in the company of the false hunter-nin, brought down all of Sakura's inner preparations. Her head was blank and her body trembled with tension and fear. A glance sideways at Sasuke showed that he, too, wasn't prepared for the encounter, but unlike her, he covered up his fear with an utterance when Zabuza approached him, claiming that his trembling was coming from excitement. Had he gone crazy or was he really braver than her? How could he, considering what would follow, remain so calm and come up with such an answer? Sakura had no time to think about it when Zabuza spoke again, calling his company by a name she had often pronounced herself the past few days.

With wide-eyed eyes she stared at the boy with the mask next to Zabuza - Haku. It couldn't possibly be the same person she had met in the clearing. It could not be the same person! Her Haku was friendly, had helped and listened to her, had simply been there for her and seemed to her as if he didn't really want to harm anyone. The Haku now in front of them just had to be someone else and yet she couldn't help but notice certain similarities even if his face was covered. "Sakura, protect Tazuna. Sasuke I leave the Hunter-nin to you" she heard the voice of her sensei about her own thoughts and like on autopilot she pulled out a Kunai and stood in front of her client.

How she once again hated to stand impassive by the side while Sensei and Sasuke-kun fought. At the same time, she was overcome with some relief as she watched the fights. She wouldn't even begin to be a help to either of them, but rather an obstacle. And the longer she followed the fights, the clearer it became to her how strong the opponents really were and how weak she herself was in comparison. She had neither the experience of Kakashi, nor the speed of Sasuke, let alone Haku. However, when a kind of ice dome lay over her team member so that she could no longer see what was happening, she became restless. Not that she had been able to rush to Sasuke-kun's aid before, but to stand there so completely unaware, not knowing what was happening inside the dome, was almost much worse. Again and again her eyes flitted from Kakashi-sensei to the place where Sasuke was alone with the Hunter-nin and the more time passed, the more nervous she became, which Tazuna didn't seem to miss. "He will surely make it, won't he? I mean, he had managed to surprise Zabuza together with the blonde, too." Tazuna's voice quietly reached Sakura's ears and she could hear exactly the same uncertainty in his voice that she felt herself. "I... He's strong, stronger than the others of our year." But that didn't mean that his victory was certain. Oh God, what did she think?! A week ago she wouldn't have doubted Sasuke-kun for a second, what had this mission done to her? She had to believe that Sasuke-kun would make it.

A voice very familiar to her ripped her from her thoughts and with her eyes wide open, she looked at the person who had appeared. "Naruto" Even though his name came only breathed from her lips, she clearly felt an increase of optimism. With Naruto at his side, Sasuke-kun would certainly be able to deal with the Hunter-nin. The two simply had a bond she didn't understand and together they balanced each other out so well that Sakura couldn't help but believe that together they would make it. Several Kunai flew in her direction and Sakura pushed Tazuna to the ground before she unrolled and blocked a few more Kunais with her own. Just so she could see the shadows of Zabuza disappearing into the fog as Kakashi-sensei was already jumping behind him.

The shattering of ice mirrors and a growl made Sakura look back at her teammates and the sight she saw left the world standing still for a moment. "Sasuke-kun... Naruto" The first of them lay motionless on the floor, Senbons all over his body, while an orange aura surrounded Naruto, which had an intense malignant aura. Something broke and the world around Sakura seemed to pick up speed again. With every second that passed, her eyes grew further and further, even Naruto seemed to fall into a kind of shock rigidity as the face of the hunter-nin was gradually visible. _~Impossible~_ , Sakura thought, didn't want to believe what she saw with her own eyes. In front of Naruto stood none other than Haku, the same Haku she had met in the clearing, who had taught her about medicinal plants and nursed her wounds. How on earth could someone like him stand on the other side and be an enemy? Unfortunately, she was too far away to understand what the two boys were talking about, but when it looked as if Naruto was about to move on to the next attack, her body automatically strained, ready to sprint to prevent whatever was planned. "Go help your team." She heard Tazuna behind her, who had stood up again, and with a desperate look she looked over her shoulder to the older man nodding at her. Sakura was in a predicament. On the one hand she wanted to stop Naruto and hurry to him, but on the other hand she couldn't leave Tazuna alone who knew what was coming and it was her job to protect him. With a nod she turned away from Tazuna, took the first steps towards Naruto and barely a few meters away from her client she raised her eyes just to look into Haku's for a fraction of a second. His gaze shouted 'Sorry' into her face and before she could say anything, he disappeared from her field of vision. Instinctively her head turned and she grasped the situation between her sensei and Zabuza before she saw a movement in the corner of her eye. 

"Haku!" Her voice echoed loudly across the square and sounded so strange and loud in the ears of the Kunoichi that she didn't realize at first she had screamed. Without warning Sakura's neck hair suddenly stood up and she heard Inner's voice saying something in her head as her legs started to walk again by themselves before another exclamation came out of her throat. "Tazuna-san. Attention!" She couldn't be too late, she really had to do something right! If she hadn't given up her place by Tazuna... She just had to make it, she had to be faster! Without thinking any further, she ran faster than she had ever done before and when she came to a stop, she just felt a stabbing pain.

Behind her, she heard a frightened wheeze as she looked into the eyes of a gloatingly grinning man in front of her, who seemed a little surprised too at her intervention. Slowly something ran over the corners of her mouth, but Sakura hardly noticed this, in contrast to the stabbing pain in her stomach area and the feeling of ever weaker legs. "Stupid brat. Look what you've done. You should have just stayed where you were, then maybe you could survive the next day or the next hours. My mission is the old man and not a little brat." A shudder went through Sakura's body and she had to concentrate not to fall into unconsciousness and to listen to the man at all. Slowly her left hand reached for the weapon the man still held and which was stuck in her body. She knew that he would pull it out of her right away to attack Tazuna again, but she wouldn't allow that. She wouldn't almost ruin another order. Tazuna and all the villagers relied on her and her team to protect the bridge and its workers. "Even a mouse can bite when cornered." She spoke and felt inwardly the support of Inner with every word she said. "Tazuna-san is under the protection of Konohagakure and I will not allow scum like you to harm him even a hair. I won't let you take away the hope of the people in Wave, no matter what it takes." Even though her voice got rough and weaker, she didn't lose any of the seriousness with which she underpinned her words. _~Inner?!~_ she called for Inner's support for the following and let the inner force flow through her while acting like on autopilot. For not a second she lost eye contact with the man in front of her, while she kept him close to her with her left hand, not allowing him to pull the weapon out of her body, and with her right hand she embraced her Kunai tighter, before she swung out with a flowing motion and pushed the blade through his larynx. As soon as she pulled her Kunai back, blood splashed towards her and the man's body collapsed. Disgust overcame Sakura as she realized what she had done and that she literaly stood and bathed in the enemy's blood, but the pain was stronger, especially after the knife, Sakura was not sure what kind of weapon it was, slipping out of her body to the ground.

"Tazuna-san" spoke she quietly and fought visibly with the effects of her blood loss "go over to Naruto. I... don't think I can take care of you any longer." She laboriously turned her head back and looked over her shoulder with a faint smile at her client. She ignored the frightened and worried look. "And it's far from over. Go now!" When initially no movement came, Sakura sighed silently and squinted her eyes together as she slowly turned around. "Go on, now" With all the strength she could muster, she turned Tazuna sideways in the direction of Naruto and pushed him forward to finally make him leave. **'We did the right thing, well done Saku.'** She heard Inner's voice and closed her eyes for a moment with a slight smile. **'But you can't give up yet, the danger is not over yet. We must pull ourselves together!'** Suddenly she opened her eyes again, tried to shake off the dull feeling in her head and body.

Suddenly she felt something around her body and abruptly all the air left her lungs and she felt her being pulled through the air. "Sakura" "Sakura-chan!" she heard the loud and worried cries of her team as she came up on the ground rudely and noticed that someone had thrown a rope around her and pulled her from her spot with it. When she first looked around, she didn't identify anybody until her view fell on the water and could find several small boats. "Shit" she cursed and tried to free herself from the rope and stand up. "We get company -" she was bringing up just before she lost her balance and fell into the water. The last thing she noticed before she plunged into the water and lost consciousness were the frightened faces of her team and a strange look in Hakus and Zabuza's eyes that she couldn't interpret. After that everything was cold and dark until total darkness had enveloped her.

>   
>    
> 
> 
> Coldness. Loneliness. Darkness. Numbness. Somewhere deep in her subconscious she heard someone calling, but what exactly she couldn't understand. Whoever called also remained a mystery to her. All she felt, knew, perceived was the infinite darkness around her and a heavy numbness in her body which made it impossible for her to move. Was that death? How long had she been here? She had no idea, but she was so infinitely exhausted. Tired she closed her eyes. When had she opened them at all? And listened once more into the total darkness. This time she heard nothing. She was alone.
> 
> "Sa-chan" A voice. "Sa-chan wake up. Enough sleep, sleepyhead." Again and she sounded so familiar, why? "Now come on Flower-chan or I'll have to leave without you." What? Who? And why did her inner self pull together so painfully at these words? With the next words she ripped open her eyes abruptly. "No, do not go Niisan! Sakura blinked and blinked again. No, that in front of her couldn't be true, could it? In front of her, next to her actually all around her a kind of film or memory took place. She saw herself, maybe just three years old, jumping out of bed and embracing the legs of a young man, as if to cling. His hand wandered to her head and patted her younger self a little. "Well, well, Sa-chan. Don't worry I won't disappear, but it's time to get up. Your parents want to move on. The young man looked down at her with a warm smile and Sakura's younger self carefully let go of the leg and nodded. "Ok Niisan." Once again her head was patted and the young man disappeared, as did the film around her. Who was that? Why couldn't she remember such an encounter or even the person when they seemed so familiar with each other? 
> 
> An icy cold crept into her limbs and Sakura embraced herself to keep at least some warmth, unsuccessfully. Somewhere she heard the sound of drops coming down on the floor, but she didn't see anything. "Promise me Sa-chan. Promise me that you won't forget me and remember what I taught you, even if I won't be there anymore". A lump had formed in Sakura's throat when she heard the ever weaker words in the darkness that lay on her like lead. Even though she saw nothing, she felt an oppressive atmosphere around her that took her breath away. Wetness. Her cheeks were wet, why? Carefully she palpated her face and found that she was crying. Why? Where was she and why did all this happen? Why did she feel like she was missing something important, something essential in her life? Why did she feel like she had forgotten something important? "Remember Sa-chan. I will always be with you, no matter what happens." Again this voice and her heart contracted painfully. "NIISAN!" A heartbreaking scream and Sakura startled up.

  
  


The first thing she noticed was an unpleasant pain that made her wheeze and her hand wandered as if by itself to her belly. She felt a slightly rough cloth under her fingers and a look down at herself showed her that her entire lower abdomen was bandaged. Suddenly the events on the bridge came back and she wanted to jump up in shock as two hands gently but firmly pressed her down. "Calm down, the fight is over. It's all right." Slowly and with widened eyes, Sakura turned her head to the side. "Haku? What?" Her voice was no more than a whisper, but the young Hunter-nin had understood her perfectly and gave her a faint but tired smile. "The fight is over. Gato is no longer a danger to the people of Wave, any less than Zabuza or me." Did she understand him correctly? Wave was safe from Gato? What had happened? Where was her team? Immediately her eyes wandered around, but she couldn't really see much except a fire and... was that Zabuza sleeping leaning against a tree? Panic spread inside her. Where was her team? "Sakura?" Haku's voice ripped her out of her inner panic attack, but didn't take away the feeling. "What happened? I fell into the water, then everything is black. How long was I away and where is my team?" Fear and panic was visible on her and the look she got from Haku didn't make it any better. For a moment neither of them spoke. "Now tell her what happened." she heard Zabuza's voice and automatically startled. For her not so long ago he was her enemy and now to be in his immediate vicinity without him attacking her was almost too much for her to process. Sighing, Haku sat next to her and the young Kunoichi from Konoha waited tense for him to tell her exactly what had happened.

"Your exclamation towards me and then towards Tazuna has led both Master Zabuza and Kakashi to pause in their battles, which is why both I and Zabuza are still alive. Hardly had you protected the old bridge builder and announced the new arrivals and fallen into the water, Gato and his men showed up. Grinning gloatingly, he dismissed your act as if it had been good for nothing. He amused himself about your death and revealed that he never intended to pay Zabuza for his services." At this point she heard an displeased snort from said Missing-nin before Haku continued. "As a result, Master Zabuza saw no point in continuing the fight against your Sensei and your team. Instead, he took care of Gato himself and killed him." "Nobody betrays me with impunity. He has to blame his death on himself." Zabuza grumbled in between and didn't seem to regret his deed. Not that Sakura didn't understand it somewhere and even she wouldn't cry a tear at Gato. "Gato's followers were quite angry after his death because nobody would pay them anymore. Your team member Sasuke woke up and joined your team and the little boy from the bridge builder showed up with the villagers. Together they scared away the rest of Gato's followers. After that our paths separated. Since we were no longer a danger to Tazuna, Kakashi took care of your two team members and led them back to the house. Master Zabuza decided that we would move on and while we were on our way we found you at the edge of the river. You had already lost a lot of blood at that time and were unconscious but still alive. I asked Master Zabuza to take care of you and then took care of your injury. When you got a fever, I almost believed you wouldn't make it. You were unconscious for almost a week and a half." With these words Haku ended and Sakura stared silently at her hands for a while as she tried to process the information.

Sasuke was alive, as were Naruto and Kakashi-sensei. Tazuna was safe and so was the bridge. With Gato's death, the villagers had nothing to fear and were finally freed from the influence of the power-hungry man. That was good news, but what about her? "A week and a half you say? And my team? What about them? Did... didn't they look for me?" They didn't possibly just leave her behind, did they? Even if they assumed she was dead, they would surely have looked for her body, wouldn't they? A look into Haku's eyes pulled everything inside her together. "They left the village a few days after the fight and went back to Konoha as far as I know. Sorry". Unbelieving she stared at the older one. That couldn't possibly be true. Her team would never leave her like that. That... that just couldn't be true! **'But what reason would Haku have to lie to us? I mean he took care of us when we were closer to death than to life without him being sure we would survive. We owe him more than just our thanks. So why would he lie to us about our team?'** Once again she had to admit Inner was right. What reason should Haku have to lie to her? If anything, he was hiding something like he had hid from her in the clearing that he was working with Zabuza. And then there was this strange dream she had to worry about. Her head started to hurt from all the things she had to process and think about. The mission had turned her whole life upside down and it was supposed to be just a simple C-rank mission! And where had it taken her? To the brink of death, in a forest somewhere in nowhere, in the company of two nuke-nins and abandoned by her team. God, she didn't want anything else but to roll up howling and die.

"Go to sleep, brat. We'll talk again tomorrow, when you've caught some sleep and are much better together. Haku give her something to drink and something to eat and then let her sleep. The same goes for you then." Surprised by Zabuza's words she looked over to the Missing-nin, who continued to sit leaning against his tree with his eyes closed. "Thank you" she murmured and accepted the food and drink she was offered from Haku and ate and drank without thinking about it. If the two ninjas wanted her dead, they certainly wouldn't have bothered to save her, so why wouldn't she accept it? Sleep wasn't long in coming, her body still weakened by her near-death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a short one but I need to put an end to the wave arc, so we could countine with my storyline :) Hope you don't mind ^^. See you :D


	7. On their way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I want to thank you all for your comments and kudos! <3 I' ve been happy about every single one and also your ideas and considerations are amazing. I already catch myself trying to reveal everything of what I have planned, but where would the excitement remain? xD  
> With this chapter we also start into the next arc, even if not too much has happened yet. Nevertheless I hope you like it. Unfortunately I don't know yet how long the next chapters will be, because on the one hand I want to let the thing develop slowly, but on the other hand I want to let the planned actions take place with a certain speed.   
> I want you to be able to follow Sakura grow and discover her own strength. At the same time, it would take too long if I approach everything in small steps. Hopefully I will find a good balance that both you and I like :D
> 
> What skills do you think Sakura should learn?   
> Should she, like in manga/anime, take the direction of a medic-nin, or should she rather focus on something else?   
> I think my opinion will be roughly reflected in this chapter, but this is only one of many possibilities that will be open to her :) So I'm curious to see what you think ^^

Her body felt heavy and strange. Everything hurt and she didn't want to move a muscle, yet she had rallied and sat up. She figured she shouldn't move too much, had she only awakened from her coma and her gut wound hadn't completely healed yet, but she couldn't lie down any further. Her mind was much too restless for her liking and she had to create clarity in her thoughts. Quickly her eyes roamed over the small camp which she shared with Zabuza and Haku and found the latter sleeping next to her. Slowly Sakura tilted her head to the side, looking at the older boy next to her. ~ _ He looks peaceful in his sleep and has been looking after me for the past week and a half. Unlike _ .~ An unpleasant feeling spread inside her and Sakura pressed her hand into the fabric of her top near her heart. ~ _ No, no, no. Don't think about them. They left me cold heartedly, not even bothering searching for me. As if a shinobi who leaves his comrades behind is scum. Kakashi-sensei is a liar, but why, why does it hurt so much? _ ~ A tear stole from the corners of her eyes and a deep frustration and anger arose in the young Kunoichi. None of this made sense to her and she felt so terribly abandoned and alone. What should she do now? Go back to Konoha alone? In her current state a stupid operation and who knew if she would be welcome at all when she arrived. After all, her team had returned without her, hadn't even made the effort to find her body. ' **They betrayed us.** ' She heard Inner and Sakura bite her lip painfully at the thought. Yes, her team had betrayed her, cast her out without batting an eyelid. That contradicted everything she had learned in the academy held by Iruka-sensei about teamwork and being a Genin. She had tried her best on this mission not to stand in the way of her team, had risked her life for the mission, and how did they thank her? They didn't even think about bringing her back to her home village - even if it was just a lifeless body! It hurt so much and more tears ran down her face. This pain was worse than any physical pain she had ever felt during the mission or any other time.

She had to get away! She... She needed room to breathe, she had to do something, she couldn't, she wasn't not allowed to... She clumsily freed herself from the cloth that had covered her up, got up and left. Her thoughts circulated, buzzed about, her breathing went jerkily, hectic and her legs gave off under her again and again, but she forced herself forward. Where she didn't know, only that she had to go on. She had two lives on her conscience! She had almost died. Betrayed and abandoned by her team, cared for by her former enemy, and then had this strange dream that made her feel like she had forgotten something important. She was alone, in a foreign place with two Nuke-nin as companions, helplessly at their mercy without protection. Damn it, she was just 12 years old, no, wait 13, right? So much time had passed... Why did she think about her age now? That was completely irrelevant. A root in her path caused Sakura to stumble and lose her balance. With all fours she came up on the floor and something cracked in the young Kunoichi. "Damn!" She didn't care that she was loud, that she was the perfect prey in her present state for anyone who wanted to hurt her. Sakura was done with her nerves, emotionally broken and at her end. She kept hitting the forest floor with her fist as if he could do anything about it. It didn't take the pain away from her nonetheless. With time her blows to the ground became weaker and weaker until they stopped altogether and Sakura dug her sore fingers into the ground. Her head rested on the ground and all she could manage was to cry heartbreakingly.

In this state she was found by Haku. How long Sakura had remained in her position, she didn't know. The careful touch of Haku she just felt at the edge of her consciousness and when she was pulled into a comforting embrace by him, she clawed herself into the fabric of his shirt and sobbed a quiet "why" into his chest over and over again. Obviously, Haku had no answer for the young Haruno, and if she was honest, she didn't expect any from the boy. But his embrace helped, giving her comfort and support, something she needed not to lose herself completely in her dark thoughts. At some point her sobs and tears ebbed, but she refused to let go of Haku and when he stirred, she held him tighter. She couldn't take another loss, not now, not so fast. But luckily he didn't seem to want to leave her. "Come we should return to the camp". She nods timidly, even if she didn't know why she was welcome in the camp at all. Fear overtook her. What if Zabuza wanted to leave her alone now that she was conscious again? What if he would take Haku from her, the only person left who cared about her?! What if… ‘ **Quiet!** ' resounded inner's voice in her head. ' **Stop worrying about things you can't control. Neither Zabuza nor Haku have left you alone unconscious or not and Haku followed you after you left the camp by yourself. If it comes down to it, you still have me, so stop crying. You are not alone.** ' Slowly, all her fear arose vanished. It was true, no matter what would come, she still had inner, she would never be completely alone, even though human contact was clearly preferable. However, she already had too much to thank Haku for and she couldn't tie him to herself because she panicked about staying behind alone.

After a few minutes the two arrived silently back at the camp and were expected by an impatient Zabuza. His gaze wandered to Sakura and although his gaze was somewhat contemptuous as he recognized her emotional state, he remained silent about what the young Kunoichi welcomed. "You are late. Eat and then we leave." Had she heard right? Unbelievingly she stared at the former Kirinin who rolled his eyes annoyed as he noticed Sakura's gaze. "I didn't watch your unconscious person for a week and a half just to get rid of you as soon as you regained consciousness, brat. But don't think that you can just travel along, you will contribute your part in this group as soon as you are fit." That wasn't a joke, was it? Still unbelieving, Sakura looked from Zabuza to Haku, who gave her a nod as confirmation. She... she was allowed to stay with them? They didn't push her away? Again she was near tears, but tried to fight them by mustering the sparse breakfast. "Hai, Arigatou, Haku and Zabuza-sa... -sama" she didn't look up again as she focused on her food. It may not have been perfect, but it was a start and it was better than nothing. She would still show them her gratitude for everything they had done for her so far. Not again would she disappoint anyone, not if she owed them so much. But first she had to regain her strength and heal not only physically.

The first days it was more than unusual for Sakura to travel together with Zabuza and Haku. It was a completely different dynamic than with Team 7, a thought that still kept her chest tight. Most of the time they walked silently through the woods at a leisurely pace, mainly because she shouldn't be exhausted with her wound. On the one hand she was grateful for the thoughtfulness, her body needed it's time to heal. Her emotional wounds, on the other hand, were a different matter and the silence didn't really help her to cope with the events, but she didn't want to say anything either, out of fear of annoying Zabuza and Haku with her problems. While Sakura could distract herself with her surroundings during the day or with small lessons from Haku about certain plants and herbs, the nights were the hardest for her. Not only did she see the deaths she had caused over and over again, no, her head brewed all sorts of bullshit in her dreams. Mostly they were about Team 7 and her betrayal, things they threw at her head, unpleasant facts and things she then transferred to her present travel companions.

It was the fourth night when she was torn from her sleep by her nightmares, not trying to fall asleep again. Instead, she sat down by the fading fire and stared inside. "Zabuza-sama?" She started quietly after a while, didn't want to forcibly rip Haku out of his sleep and she guessed that Zabuza, like Kakashi-sensei, was alert despite sleeping position. Without lifting her gaze from the fire and getting an answer from the Kirinin, she continued. "How... how did you deal with the first dead and the first betrayal? I don't know... They are haunting me and the betrayal is... it hurts so much and leaves such fear and anger in me I fear to crumble under it. Gomen, when I'm talking crazy stuff, I just don't know what to do. I... I don't want to crack from it." She had had enough of being weak, she didn't want to be controlled by her fear of backsliding and giving her negative thoughts the satisfaction of having won. But she had no idea how to do that and who else would help her besides Zabuza and Haku? She could only hope that she wouldn't bother him with her thoughts.

A rustle could be heard and Sakura noticed in the corners of her eyes how Zabuza also approached the fire and settled down with a grunt. "In Konoha they really don't seem to prepare you for the ninja life if you have no idea how to deal with such things". Sakura remained silent. Zabuza was absolutely right with his statement. Nothing she had learned at the academy or in the weeks as Team 7 from Kakashi-sensei - why she still called him Sensei - had prepared her for a situation like in Wave. Neither physically nor mentally she knew how to accomplish such a mission, so she only managed a slight nod in response, which resulted in a snort from the Kirinin. "First, you have to realize that death will always be a part of your life. Nothing can be set against that. Either you kill or you get killed, that's the life of a shinobi. We are tools, nothing more. If you only hesitate for a moment or feel sorry for your opponent, it can mean your death. To take someone's life in battle means you can live another day. So you have no reason to feel guilty. For all I care, mourn her death when you have a quiet minute, but then let go and live on. They have lost their lives so you can continue to live. The least you can do is make the best of the next day, since your opponents can't do it anymore. As for the betrayal. The world is anything but fair. There will always be someone who will take advantage of you and betray you, so always count on someone to ram a knife into your back if you're not careful. All you can do is turn anger into action, work on yourself, make it harder to hurt you. Instead of thinking about what if, focus the energy on improving yourself and always keep a watchful eye on friend and foe. Trust can cost a shinobi his life, so it's better not to trust blindly." That was the longest Zabuza had spoken in the past days and Sakura slowly let his words take effect. As hard as they sounded, they contained so much truth in her eyes that it was difficult for her to understand such wisdom from the Missing-nin. Yes, the life of a ninja was cruel, she had had to learn that painfully and Zabuza's words did not embellish that fact either, yet she felt as if he really wanted to help her with those words. The Haruno had hoped he would give her some good advice, but she had clearly not counted on the comprehensiveness. Humming she nodded and raised her head. Even though her eyes were dull and had lost their shine and naivety, even though she still had a long way to go before she could really accept Zabuza's words, he had given her back some strength.

She'd digest it and then come out stronger. She was a ninja. Surrender wasn't an option, not after she had survived Wave. As Zabuza had said, she had ended two lives who would have taken her life without batting an eyelid if she hadn't gotten ahead of them. The least she could do was live on. "Arigatou." That's all Sakura said and she didn't have to say anything else for Zabuza. He might be a Missing nin and had no problem killing, but he wasn't as cold-hearted as many assumed, even though a certain blonde Ninja had to make that clear to him first. Something he would never admit and fortunately it was something Haku would never address. This child had clearly softened him up, which disturbed him less than first thought. "Try to get back to sleep, training starts tomorrow morning." For the swordsman this was the end of the subject and he made his way back to the tree he was leaning against, while Sakura went back to her sleeping place and lay down. The fact that Haku moved closer to the Kunoichi shortly afterwards remained uncommented by both Zabuza and Sakura.

Morning came faster as the Haruno liked it after her short night, but she didn't complain. Instead, she went looking for something to eat. As usual, breakfast was quiet, which Sakura slowly got used to and found less bothering, as in the beginning. There was something relaxing about waking up in peace, waking up and eating. With Naruto, a morning was always filled with cheerful and over-excited chatter. Which wasn't bad, though perhaps a bit annoying, but Naruto's way was simply contagious. Inwardly she shook her head. She finally had to stop thinking about her old team, bringing only memories she wanted to forget. All she wanted was to look forward, change, improve and learn from her mistakes. " In order to start training, I need to know what the morons in Konoha taught you. Which techniques did you master? How is your strength and endurance? Is there something you want to focus on? I know Haku teaches you his knowledge of medicinal plants." Zabuza started after eating and Sakura flinched slightly. Not because he had spoken, but because she had to reveal that she couldn't really do anything a shinobi should. "The Academy teaches the basics. History, mathematics, rudimentary and I mean really rudimentary chakra theory, as well as practice in dealing with Kunai and Shuriken, Taijutsu, Nin- and Genjutsu. We learn what chakra is, what affinities there are, how genjutsus work and how to dissolve them. At Jutsus we learn three, which are also tested as final exams. Bunshin, Henge and Kawarimi and a few more that serve as a basis, like Kakuremino, Bikou Ninjutsu, Kibakufuda Kassei and Nawanuke no Jutsu. My strengths lie more in theory. I don't have a problem with acquiring knowledge and keeping it, but using it is harder. My Taijutsu is average, I only master the Katas the Academy taught us. I don't have enough chakra for most ninjutusus, because my family doesn't belong to any clan. My handling of weapons is also at most average and my throwing arm weak. But I can detect and dissolve genjutsus quite quickly and my chakra control seems to be a bit above average." At this point Sakura stopped briefly in her explanation and stared at her hands for a moment. "I had taken a scroll on chakra control with me from Konoha and was amazed at how little we actually learned about it in the Academy. Ka- Hatake-san made us climb trees in Wave using Chakra. Since I had already done another exercise from the scroll the night before, I had no problems with the exercise. I also wanted to practice jumping from branch to branch, but he forbid me to do so. It wasn't appropriate to my training level... I then secretly practiced walking on the water, which I also mastered quite quickly. Since my chakra pool isn't very huge, it's quickly depleted. And what I want to learn... I know that I have to work on my strength and stamina, maybe there are possibilities to increase my chakra reserves? I also have no idea what my element is, but maybe it's for later. I would also like to improve my weapon handling. One of the men that I... killed, had an interesting type of weapon, it looked like a trident, only that the middle fork was much longer than the outer two." With these words Sakura ended her little speech and turned her eyes towards the two men, waiting for what would happen now.

Hell. Nothing else could it be where she was again. Every fiber in her body groaned with pain and a fire was burning in her lungs that seemed to be unquenchable and with every breath the flames were further kindled. Sweat ran down her skin, making her clothes stick to her like a second layer of skin and it became harder and harder to hold the blades in her hands. Not only because her palms are sweating, but also because even her little finger hardly wanted to listen to her. Everything felt painful and no muscle wanted to respond to her anymore. Honestly, what had she let herself in for? "Urgh" Black dots appeared before her eyes and in an attempt to shake them off, Sakura closed her eyes briefly. However, as a result she lost her balance and fell to the ground. "Enough!" A stern voice she could barely hear because of the blood rushing in her ears and only with effort and adversity was Sakura able to reopen her eyes and see the person who had spoken. With crossed arms Zabuza stood not too far away from a tree and looked at the two teenagers. "That's enough for today. Go to the river and wash your sweat off, then we'll make our way to the village. Have some missions for us so that we can stay in an Inn for a while. While Haku and I are doing the missions, I expect you to keep training Sak and looking for jobs you can do. It's time we stock up your gear and we certainly won't pay for everything." With these words the Missing-nin turned around and returned to the camp.

Breathing heavily, Sakura tried to get up again, but her legs just wouldn't obey. All the more grateful she was when she spotted Haku's hand in her field of vision. "Come on, we shouldn't let Master Zabuza wait too long. You did well today." Without thinking, Sakura grabbed his hand and let Haku help her on her feet. A small smile had fallen on her lips at his words. Something she had done less and less in the past weeks. The cheerful, naive girl from Konoha disappeared with every day she spent with the two ninjas, but she missed the cheerful, carefree girl that she was once not really. A few weeks ago she was nothing but a weak, lovesick brat with no idea what it meant to be a shinobi, but thanks to the intense training she felt stronger every day. "Thank you. I feel stronger every day, but seriously. My endurance is still laughable." She couldn't expect miracles, she knew that, but it didn't change the fact that she was regularly frustrated with herself. Not that she didn't make any progress at all, on the contrary. Zabuza and Haku seemed satisfied with her development over the past four weeks, but it wasn't enough for Sakura. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Sak. You give your best every day and everything else will be fine with time as it should be". Sighing, young Haruno just nodded and stepped to the riverbank to wash away the sweat.

The water was cold on her heated skin, but with the weeks Sakura had gotten used to bathing in cold waters. That didn't mean she wouldn't prefer warm baths over icy streams and rivers. ' **We only learned we don't need them if we want to get stronger, and even if we've only been out with them a little over a month, I'm sure we've grown more mature than if we had stayed in Konoha.** ' Humming, she agreed with Inner and slowly stepped out of the river. Shame, she had to learn that quickly, had no place in the group and her body was far from fully grown. She didn't even have breasts to hide. In addition, the Missing-nins had quickly made it clear to her that she alone was an easier victim for attacks, as long as she hadn' t learned to keep an eye on her surroundings and to defend herself properly. Thus, one of them was always near her when she left the camp. She had no time to let her feelings of shame come to the fore. Not that it had been an easy task and even now there were still moments when she was uncomfortable when one of the two Kiri-nins saw her almost undressed or completely without clothes on her body. But with the weeks she had built up a certain tolerance and the immediate proximity of one of the two, had already saved her one time or another literally. Not quite two weeks ago a few bandits had been near their camp and Sakura had wanted to clean herself after a hard day. Had Haku not been her companion, the encounter she had had with the bandits could have ended much more unpleasantly. After this incident, Zabuza had given her two sais, saying that she had to start protecting herself better, and she had understood why the two men insisted that there should always be someone near her, whether she was bathing or doing something else. A warm feeling had spread in her chest and it was the first day after all what had happened that a smile had settled on her lips. The two Missing-nins were worried about her and even though Zabuza was harsh and unapproachable, pushing her to her limits and beyond with his training, he didn't do it because he was cold-hearted. Even though he kept telling her to learn to control her emotions, she didn't care that day when she fell gratefully around his neck with tears of joy in her eyes and a warm smile on her lips. The first sincere smile, after ... After the betrayal.

"Sak, are you okay?" Haku was really a sweetheart, always worried about her well-being, so she only nodded briefly to ease his concerns. "All's well, I just remembered something. Will Zabuza-sama and you be long gone when you complete missions for the village?" She reattached her weapon bag and her sais after she had put them down for the bath in the river and turned to the older boy. As soon as everything was back in place, they made their way to the camp so that they could leave. "Zabuza-sama hasn't given me much information yet, but it looks like we will stay in the village for two to three weeks. We'll probably be back more often in the evening, depending on what kind of assignments we're dealing with." The young Haruno nodded to the answer and so she put the topic down again. She hadn't been much help for the two ninjas on their missions yet, but she had planned to continue training so she could accompany them on their missions at some point. The village, which would be her home for the next time, was very lively compared to Wave, but still much smaller than Konoha. But that didn't mean there was less activity on the streets. She had to be careful not to lose Zabuza and Haku in the crowd and despite her conspicuous hair color they only gave her a few skeptical looks every now and then. Namiutsu, that was the name of the village where they would live, was a mid-sized trading town somewhere in the land of water and whether she wanted to or not, Sakura was curious to see what she would see here. After all, she hadn't really been to other villages before, except then, years ago...

> _ "Nii-san! Arms!" A young Sakura Haruno ran clumsily through the sandy ground towards a young man, laughing and cheerful, with open arms, crying out for an invitation to embrace. Squeaking with joy, the toddler threw herself in the arms of the man in question and was lifted immediately. Around her she did not recognize anything from her home Konohagakure. There wasn't enough green around her. "Where were you this time, Nii-san?" She felt the vibration of a suppressed laugh. "I was in your home Sacchan, nothing special. Remember, you'll travel as much later as I will." _

A hand waved in front of Sakura's face and slowly the picture of her and the young man disappeared and she found herself on the busy streets of Namiutsu. "Are you with us again?" She heard the sober voice of Zabuza and young Haruno noticed that she had apparently spaced out. "Sorry Zabuza-sama. I think it just overwhelmed me to be back in a village." She couldn't tell them about any memories or dreams that made her drift away. After all, she didn't even have a clue what it was exactly.

They didn't have to walk through the busy streets for long until they arrived at a cheap Inn and checked in. The facial expression of the receptionist was quite amusing in Sakura's eyes, seeing her in shock, because of the statement that they were booking a room with two beds. She would have loved to know what the lady had been thinking. If Sakura had to guess, she would assume it was something adult. Seriously, why only because she would share a room with two male shinobis and probably a bed? The room was sparsely furnished, but it offered more comfort than the forest floor had done last month. And the young Kunoichi was looking forward to her first warm bath after a long time without warm water. "Haku and I will look around and gather informations for the first job. You should also explore the village and look for a job for the next few weeks. You need your own money to upgrade your equipment. We'll meet here for dinner tonight." " Hai." Sakura knew the process when the two men had a job to do that she couldn't participate in. In nature it was mostly a matter of finding a sheltered hiding place and waiting. Now, with the protection of a village, she could allow herself to go out on her own. She had to start contributing to the group no matter how small he might be. Even before she could leave, Haku and Zabuza had disappeared and Sakura wondered what she best wanted to do with her new freedom and task. She took her weapons with her as a precaution, she had only really taken them off for bathing or sleeping. However, she made sure that her sais were well covered by her clothes. She didn't have to draw more attention to herself than her hair color already did. This reminded her to think of something about it. Her hair was conspicuous and after the events in Wave she reluctantly wanted to run into someone from Konoha who might have recognised her by her hair colour. Perhaps she would find a solution if she looked around the village today.

The people here were fucking kidding her! The young girl had been on the streets for an hour and a half, asking about possible jobs, only to hear that she was too young to be given any tasks. ~ _ They're worse than in Konoha. At least they let Genins earn their money through D-Rang missions, but here... Well, they don't know that I'm a ninja, but still I'm damned 13 and I'm allowed to do certain work. _ ~ Furious at the narrow-mindedness of the villagers, the young Kunoichi sat down on the edge of a fountain in the centre of the village and thought. Somehow she had to get money and it would be best if she could combine her work with her training and gather information at the same time. According to Zabuza, information was worth a lot of money and could possibly help them in some ways. The question was just how to connect all these dots. Wait a minute! For a moment, Sakura's mouth twitched upwards. She could use Henge to transform herself into an adult woman. This would expand her chakra reserves and improve her control, depending on how long she kept the facade upright. If she found work in a bar, she would quickly get information and rumors.  _ That's it! _

In a side street she concentrated the necessary amount of chakra and changed her appearance into a young woman she had seen somewhere in Konoha on the street. Afterwards she headed off to check out the bars. Somebody would surely need a temporary help and this time fate seemed to be merciful to her. The second bar she entered was really looking for a temp and took her in. That was almost too easy, but Sakura wouldn't drop her cover. It might have been easy to get the job. But that didn't mean he didn't have his dangers and she couldn't afford her cover to blow. That would certainly be a few fun weeks.


	8. Henge’s first job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter! Wuhuu :D  
> Do you know it, when you know exactly what you want to write, but you find writing mega hard? That' s the case with me at the moment. I know exactly how I want to continue, but writing it down is currently almost a torture. Well I don't want to get on your nerves too much with this ^^
> 
> I hope this chapter isn't too confusing. Just consider that Sakura is partly not here as Sakura, but has acquired an alias. That might make it easier to understand. 
> 
> As always I am curious about your opinions and theories like what could develop. I also love to read your comments. They always make my day more wonderful :-)

Meditating, Sakura sat on the bed next to the chamber door. Haku and Zabuza hadn't come back from their information gathering yet, so she thought she should use the time wisely. After she had found a job in the village, she had discussed some more details with the bar owner, especially the payment and her working hours. Afterwards she had visited the shops in the centre and had found one or two things she wanted to buy later as soon as she had money. Beside a few Kunais and Senbons she had seen a few stylish hooded shirts that would fit tight to her head. If she put them on, her hair would be well protected, so no one would recognize her from far away. In addition, the tighter cut promised protection from sudden exposure should the hood want to blow off her head, which would not happen so easily. Similarly, the shape of the cut wouldn't restrict her field of vision to the side too much, which would benefit her. Now all she had to do was raise enough money to buy a few of them.

A small, barely perceptible chakra vibration let Sakura lose her concentration for a moment and startle from her meditation. The chakra seemed familiar to her, but since she had started meditating, she had never felt anything like that. Again Sakura closed her eyes, concentrated on her inner center and felt her chakra as Zabuza and Haku showed her a month ago. It pulsated inside her more than a few moments ago, probably due to the shock she had felt. Young Haruno concentrated once again on this other chakra and tried to push her perception further out, away from her inner core and body. Suddenly it was there again, this time much closer than a few moments ago and with one blow she opened her eyes at the same instant as the room door was opened. Irritated and briefly disoriented, she stared at the faces of two ninjas she had gotten to know better over the past month. "You look as if you have seen a ghost, Sak. Are you all right?" Haku had entered the room first, followed by Zabuza and had sat next to her when he noticed how much Sakura was standing beside her. When initially no reaction came from the younger, Haku stretched out his arm to gently touch her on the shoulder. His plan was stopped, however, when Sakura reflexively grabbed his wrist and held it. Horrified, Sakura stared at Haku's wrist shortly afterwards and let it go. She almost felt bad about her reaction. "Stop it." Zabuza's voice sounded serious. "Don't apologize for reflexes that save your life. It could have been someone else coming into the room. Besides, Haku should know you shouldn't bring back shinobi who have spaced out through physical contact." Sakura timidly nodded at his words, while Haku looked at the floor guiltily. "Would you still like to tell us what happened?" Behind him Zabuza had closed the door and was now standing in his full size in front of the bed on which Sakura and Haku were sitting and Sakura wondered what she should say. "I..." she began hesitantly, "I don't know exactly what happened myself. After I was in the village and found a job, I thought I'd use the time until dinner to meditate like you showed me. And... and suddenly there was a small shock in my chakra. The chakra didn't belong to me, it didn't flow through my body and it was different than when someone put me under a Genjutsu. That made me lose my concentration and when I tried again I concentrated more on things outside my chakra channels. This time the strange chakra was closer and before I could process it the door opened and also I opened my eyes...". A shudder went through Sakura's body remembering how parallel everything was. It was almost as if she had seen the other chakra open the door… Whoa! "That was you!" Both male ninjas looked at Sakura skeptically, almost as if she had something crazy about her. "This other chakra I mean. That... that was you Haku! No idea why I felt you, but when you opened the door, it was as if I looked through the door, only I didn't really see it, but somehow. Does that make sense?" A heavy silence had fallen over the room and nobody dared to say anything. It didn't make sense to any of the three ninjas what Sakura had said. 

Zabuza was the first to move again. "We should keep an eye on that, but you said you found a job too? We'd better get something to eat and go through everything else." His two protégés nodded slightly, hardly recognizable if he was honest. Shortly thereafter they had disappeared from the room, only to return to the room a little later with trays full of food. For the first few minutes they silently enjoyed the first meal that they had not cooked and hunted themselves, before they finally reached the actual program of the evening. "It was harder to find a job than I thought. The people here aren't exactly keen on having children work for them. Pretty frustrating if you ask me. But I couldn't give up either, so I thought about what I could do. I noticed that a job where I could not only gather information but also refine my ninja techniques would be ideal. So I was thinking that even though you've helped me a lot in the past weeks, my skills list hasn't really grown, but I'm good at using the basic jutsus from the academy. So I used a Henge and got older. Using this method I also found a job in a bar. So I train my chakra reserves and infiltration skill, get money for it and can collect useful information. After all, it is a bar and where are people most eager to talk? Where a lot of alcohol flows". Sakura was proud of her idea and the success she had in finding a job, but she couldn't tell anything from the faces of the two men. When they both remained silent for the next few minutes, Sakura became more and more restless. What if Zabuza and Haku didn't agree? What if they tried to talk her out of taking this job? ' **Why do you keep questioning those two? If something doesn't suit them, they will say something. Maybe they didn't expect you to come up with such an idea? You always overthink everything.** ' Inner grumbled in Sakura's head and silenced her. "Guys" she asked timidly when she still hadn't received an answer after 5 minutes and apparently she tore the two ninjas out of her thoughts. "You really did... You know bars can be dangerous with all those drunks. And what if other ninjas come in and see through your henge?" Haku's concern took away Sakura's fear that nobody would agree with her idea. Inner was obviously not so wrong when she said that neither of them had expected her to come up with such an idea. "I agree with Haku, bars are not harmless and your chakra reserves are not exactly well developed. Do you really think that you can maintain your henge as long as your working hours are? To use it at the same time as a kind of training is a really good idea and yes it will certainly give you a lot of information if you do it skilfully..." For a moment it was quiet again and Zabuza seemed in thought. "I hope for your sake you know what you're getting yourself into. I suppose you will work in the evening or at night then?" A nod was all he got as an answer. "Take your sais or at least a few Kunais with you when you start your shift. Even if you pretend to be a civilian, it is better to have at least something on your body so that you can defend yourself if necessary". Sakura had to stifle the upcoming smile. The two had been silent because they had been worried about her, even if neither of them would admit that openly. But Sakura had learned better to look behind the masks of the two ninjas and to read between the lines. "Don't worry, I'll be careful. The Sais won't be easy to hide on the body I have chosen as camouflage, but Kunais are feasible. In addition, my number of hours slowly increases over the next few weeks, so I can get used to running around in a Henge for several hours. This way I can also get used to the constant chakra flow that I have to keep up. With my control, I shouldn't waste too much chakra on the technique, so I should get by with my chakra for my shift." A satisfied, barely recognizable nod she received as an answer from both and for a while they ate silently again.

As soon as they had eaten the food, there was a knock at their door and an employee of the Inn put her head through the door and asked if everything was to their satisfaction before she took the empty plates and bowls and disappeared from the room again. "Your job might also be helpful to our mission." Zabuza started and got the full attention of the pink haired girl. "I can't tell you too much yet, we still lack information ourselves, but keep your eyes and ears open if you hear anything about groups that are causing problems for the people in the village." "Hai" Sakura almost floated because of her feelings. She could help Zabuza and Haku, maybe, but it was more than she could hope for. After all, she finally wanted to start showing both her gratitude for taking her with them and training her. Sakura stretched out and let her joints crack slightly. "I'm slowly getting ready, my shift starts soon. I should be back shortly after midnight." With these words she disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for the evening. When she came out again, she rummaged in her weapon bag for two Kunais and a few Senbons before she concentrated the necessary amount of chakra to transform into her work disguise. It was always a strange feeling to change into another person and it took her a few moments to get used to the new body. She was taller, more feminine, and her clothes flattered the new curves, but left her less room for large movements should she be attacked. "Interesting choice you made there." Was the only comment she got from Zabuza about her new person as she searched for suitable hiding places for her weapons. "She is the daughter of a merchant in Konoha. I met her once or twice when I accompanied my parents to the store. Nothing special, but I think she should be enough for the job. See you later." With these words she said goodbye and disappeared out the door. She pushed the memories of her parents away in a deep corner of her mind with the help of Inner and made her way to the bar.

The job was more exhausting than she had thought, but what good experience did she have as a waitress or bartender. Exactly none at all. The drunken guests, mainly of a male nature, didn't make it any easier for her either, when she tried to make her way through the crowd to deliver orders. She even had to pull herself together not to drive out of her skin when a guest thought to place his hand not exactly inconspicuous on her ass. She almost dissolved the Jutsu, so in rage she had been. When she spoke of Jutsu, it became more and more exhausting to maintain the transformation, the happier she was when it was finally midnight and one of her fellow workers came to replace her. "For the first day you did really well, Suri-san. Even some customers left more tips because of you. If you go on like this, we might soon be the most popular bar in the village. This would be great for the business, but it could also attract more trouble. Well, whatever, that's not your problem. Good night and see you tomorrow Suri-san." With a short nod and a warm smile Sakura in the form of Suri turned away from her colleague and wished her a successful night and then disappeared in the dark of night. Her way to the Inn was not far, thank God, and she quietly stepped into the room which she shared with Haku and Zabuza. As soon as the door behind her fell into the lock, she dissolved her henge and a deep exhaustion crept into her bones. The hours had been more exhausting than she had imagined. Quietly she stepped into the bathroom and came out a little later just as quietly before she went to bed, which she shared with Haku, and had fallen asleep a few seconds later. So fast she didn't even notice the look of the boy who had been watching her closely as soon as she entered the room.

The morning came faster than Sakura liked and after an extensive breakfast she followed the two ninjas into the nearby forest surrounding the village to continue her training. As usual, it was hard and neither of them took a step back, even when Zabuza showed her new Katas to train with her two Sais, he did not treat her gently. Mistakes were quickly and mercilessly corrected and she was to go through the forms until they felt as if she had never done anything else in her life. For lunch they stopped and looked for something to eat before she was sent back from Zabuza to meditate while he and Haku continued to gather information. As on the evening before, they had dinner together and Sakura got ready for her job afterwards. This routine lasted almost a week before Zabuza and Haku told her that they would not be in the village for several days. Not that Sakura felt uncomfortable on her own, because she did, but she had expected it to come. After all, Zabuza had warned her at the beginning. But being on her own for a few days was more frightening for the young Kunoichi than she would admit. She had set herself the goal of making the best of it and stuck to her routine as regards morning training and meditation in the afternoon. She also went to the bar to work as usual in the evening. However, she was much more tense that evening than normal, which she attributed to the absence of the two ninja.

"Evening Hanamaki-san and Kuro-san." She greeted her two work colleagues and gave them a friendly smile before putting on the waiter's apron and taking care of her tables. Over the week she had gained a certain amount of confidence working in the bar and had also established a good working relationship with her colleagues, but she could not get rid of the feeling that everyone was more tense than usual this evening.

The first hours went on as usual, customers came and went, some gave tips and others behaved quite dubiously when drunk, but it was nothing Sakura couldn't handle somehow, even if it took her a while. But all this changed abruptly and a group of 5 men came into the bar. Instantly the atmosphere in the room changed and some customers left in a hurry as soon as they had left the necessary money on the table for their orders. ~  _ Strange _ ~ Sakura thought and narrowed her eyes slightly. "Bring us some of your best sake and 5 mugs of beer, be quick." The voice of the man who had spoken, sounded dominant and didn't tolerate any back-talk. It was like the man was used to bossing others around. Once again she could only stand by and watch as her work colleagues ran around like a bunch of ants to carry out the order. Apparently the group was anything but unknown, Sakura couldn't explain the behaviour of her colleagues and guests otherwise. From the corner of Sakura's eye, she saw her superior waving to her and curiously responded. She had to hold to herself firmly when she was suddenly pulled behind a door not to reach for her Kunai. Instead she tried to give an angry "what" of herself, only to find a hand on her mouth a short time later. "Shhhhh. Calm down Suri-san. We don't want to attract the attention of the men out there." Only slowly Sakura cooled down and nodded slightly to her superior, she had understood, and finally the hand disappeared from her mouth. The situation was far too confusing for her taste and Sakura needed answers so she knew what was going on. "You surely want to know what's going on. I can't tell you much either, except that the men belong to a larger group that supposedly comes from Kirigakure. They come to the village every now and then, for some months now, and tyrannize us. Mostly they skip the bill, drink any alcohol they can get their hands on and harass the female waitresses. I've heard from other bar operators that they even take women with them and I don't want to imagine what they do with them. I had hoped that they would stay away for a while longer so you would have left the village by the time they got back."

That used to be news. Bad news. Was the group Zabuzas and Hakus mission? It would be possible, so far she hadn' heard anything else of gossip what a mission could contain. These men were her first lead to anything. "So they've been rioting around the village for months, especially in bars? Why? And what should we do now?" She couldn't possibly just disappear now and leave the staff in the bar alone with these men. It didn't matter that she was supposed to be a civilian, if what her superior said was true, then she couldn't just leave the other women behind and hope none of the men would attack them. None of the waitresses had experience in self-defense. "I can't just let you go in case they disappear, but I want you to work behind the counter tonight. You should be safer there than if I let you serve. I don't know much more about the rest. In Kiri it is said to have given an overthrow, but that is only a rumour."After a short reflection Sakura nodded easily, it made sense to let her work at least a little bit protected. There was a physical obstacle, the bar, which separated her from the men what promised at least minimal protection. She wasn't keen on being touched by strangers, it was enough for her to serve normal customers, who inadvertently touched her ass as she passed them. As for the rumor. She would wait until she was back at the Inn and then talk to Zabuza and Haku about it as soon as they were back. "I understood Sato-san. I stay behind the bar. Maybe the evening won't be as bad as we fear." For a moment her corners of her mouth twitched upwards, but she really didn't smile. With a pat on her shoulder from her boss she was sent back to the bar and Sakura's gaze wandered to the table with the strange men who were drinking properly. Hopefully this evening didn't escalate.

She cursed her luck. Why couldn't something go normally in her life without causing problems? The first hours in the bar had been pleasant according to the circumstances. Behind the bar she was protected from physical advances, but that didn't mean that the men didn't say anything and the further the evening went and the more alcohol flowed, the more intrusive the customers became. Especially the group of the 5 men who allegedly liked to riot bars. But the more alcohol flowed, the more aggressive the men became, which gradually scared away the less self-confident customers, so that they were now only with the group of men in the bar. "Kyaaaaa!" The scream of one of her co-workers made Sakura turn around, had she turned her back to the room for a moment. "Come here, babe, how about a little fun. Just us two or three." The sleazy and dirty grin could not be overlooked, while the woman tried in vain to free herself from the man's grip. But the man only pressed her on the table and took more and more of her freedom of movement. "Leave Hanamaki-san alone!" Sakura interfered and threw an empty glass towards the man. Her throwing arm had improved thanks to her training and the glass hit the man right at the temple, which surprised him to stagger a few steps back. "Damn bitch, you dare!" The man yelled at her after he had worked through his first shock and Sakura should have known. She should have known that nothing good would result if she intervened. But she couldn't turn a blind eye, that put her in this tricky situation.

All of a sudden the guy stood in front of her, grabbed Sakura's wrist and pulled her over the bar with full force without her having a chance to defend herself. "Looks like you want to take the place of the little slut." The man's voice was aggressive, but his tone also resonated with lust and excitement. As soon as he had dragged Sakura over the bar, he blocked any escape route by pressing her with his massive body onto the closest table. With one hand he fixed her wrists over her head and with his free hand he spread Sakura's legs to better position himself. Panic swept over the Haruno as the guy with his dirty hand dared to move over her body, or rather the transformed body. "Leave your dirty fingers off me, you creep!" All screaming and squirming brought nothing, the grip was simply not looser around her wrists. "You bitch begged me to take you, didn't you? The glass and your loose mouth should be punished and me and my boys would love to take care of it." If only she could do something to escape this situation, but her mind wouldn't come up with a solution. Instead, she found herself at the mercy of her enemy again. Why the hell was everyone always stronger than her?

Sakura snatched from her thoughts when she suddenly felt a hand on her skin and heard the helpless whimpering of one of her colleagues. This just couldn't and shouldn't happen. There had to be something she could do to save herself and the other women. Somehow she had to get her hands free, then she could reach for her Kunai and then ... Yes what and then. Should she kill the men? Did she have to eliminate them? If she didn't, they could come back and more women... She couldn't allow that, but she didn't want to take more lives, not so fast at least. ‘ **Remember what Zabuza said to us: Death is part of being ninja and you kill to live another day. Think of what these bastards do to you and other women and girls if we don't stop it** ' Sakura swallowed her fear. What would she do without inners support? A question she didn't want answered. " _ Ok, I... I can do that. I swore I wouldn't be weak anymore and if I had to go this way, then ... that's how it is. Thank you for the reminder Inner. _ "

Still maintaining the Jutsu, she suddenly stopped defending herself. "Hooo? Have we already given up bitch?" It wasn't easy for Sakura to pull herself together, especially when he started to rip her top piece by piece from the neckline. Sakura used his distraction to bundle some chakra into her right leg and rammed it into the guy's side as best she could. She used the opening that resulted to pull her other leg towards her and pushed her foot against her enemy's chest to push him away. The man staggered back and fell against the next table, which gave way under his weight and cracked. Without consciously wanting it, Sakura had sent chakras into her muscles to strengthen the kick. Thereby she wanted to appear as civil as possible! Groaning, her tormentor stood up and Sakura didn't have much time to take a look at the other four men.

Fortunately, the other guys had distanced themselves from her colleagues, but this meant for Sakura that she was now the focus of attention, which made her grimace unpleasantly. Her gaze caught on the table she had been lying on a few seconds before and with a force she was not aware of, she let it go over the floor to the small group of men. She was about to turn around, when she was tackled to the ground by her actual attacker. Before he could fix her hands in any way, she grabbed the Kunai in her sleeve and pulled the sharpened blade through the man's neck. His body slumped over her, blood dripping on her face and Sakura got sick. Suppressing her nausea she threw the lifeless body away and straightened up again. The room had become quiet and with watchful eyes she looked at those present in the room. A movement in the corner of her eye let Sakura act instinctively and her Kunai drilled into the shoulder of a man who had tried to grab one of her colleagues. His cry of pain was almost satisfaction for her, but she quickly shook the thought off again. She was not a cruel monster who enjoyed the suffering of others. "Get out of here and leave us in peace unless you want to end up here like your friend." The self-confidence in her voice was greater than what she actually had within herself. But Sakura couldn't let anything happen to the women and she had to play poker. Four against one wasn't easy and she wasn't sure if she was up to it, but she didn't want to find out if there was another way. "You'll regret that, bitch! We promise you that." Angry looks were thrown at her as the rest of the men left the bar and moments after the door fell into the lock, Sakura slumped down, no longer wanting to carry her weight.

Again she had taken a life and even though she remembered Zabuza's words, it did not make it easier for her to endure. "Suri-san?" timidly the voice of one of her colleagues entered her ear. She sounded insecure and anxious, almost as if she had no idea how to approach Sakura. "I'm fine, don't worry... I just need a moment. Nothing else happened to you, has it?" Sakura could only laboriously turn her head to the others and ignore the lifeless body next to her. Fortunately nobody seemed to be really hurt, which let her breathe a sigh of relief. "How come you managed to overpower the guy here at all?" The question came from her boss and Sakura looked sighing at her hands. "I had said that I was travelling with a distant relative. She was in a ninja academy for a while and showed me a few things so that I could at least defend myself a little. I think we can be grateful to her after what happened today." Sakura stuck to the story she had told at the beginning of her job. She was travelling with Sakura a distant relative in search of her relatives to enter their business, after Sakura had noticed in the academy that the ninja life is not for her. She herself as Suri had only come as a guardian and had taken care of her the years before. At least that was her cover story. Nothing too conspicuous but also nothing too unbelievable and it seemed to work. Her boss only nodded slightly at her words. "I close for today, go home. I let someone come to take care of the guy on my bar floor. Here Suri-san your payment for the week and thanks for taking care of the others. Relax from the horror and thank your relatives in my name. She has helped us very much indirectly today." A small smile stole on Sakura's lips and she nodded.

She stored the money well on her body and was happy when she could leave the bar and return to the Inn. Her room was still empty when she entered. No trace of Haku or Zabuza, much to her displeasure. After the events she would have liked to have had their company, but she couldn't have everything. With tired bones she dragged herself into the bathroom and finished her off. Sleep, however, was a long time coming when the shadows of the night haunted her and made it impossible to fall asleep peacefully. Only much later did she fall into a restless sleep.


	9. The Camp

It was dark, still in the middle of the night, and the soft murmur of the rain and the dropping of thicker drops of water falling from the gutters were the only sounds that could be heard in the room of the Inn. A lonely figure lay huddled together on one of the two beds, clutching a pillow, while silent tears ran down the delicate face into the pillow. Not even two hours of sleep were granted to her when Sakura startled from one of her nightmares. The silence and emptiness in the room almost crushed her and a feeling of helplessness spread through her, making it impossible to fall asleep. Out of desperation she had taken the pillow and pressed it to herself, hoping it would comfort her, carrying with it a hint of Haku's scent. And it helped, at least a little, but it didn't calm her nerves significantly, and as time progressed mercilessly, the effect of the pillow on her diminished. She missed Haku and Zabuza. Near them she felt safe and protected, as if nothing and nobody could get too close. But she was alone and no one was there to comfort her after the events. Hopefully the two ninjas would be back soon.' **Come on, Sak. Don't let yourself down and do something. Go out, train or get one of those hoodies, but stop wasting your breath. You can't rely on others forever and yesterday you spent the whole day lying in bed and feeling sorry for yourself. Get up and distract yourself and leave the uncomfortable memories for the day to me.** ' Barely Sakura reacted to her inner voice and instead buried her face deeper into the pillow. Everything felt too elaborate and exhausting and it was better just to stay in bed. ' **Will you get up now!** ' In her head Inner raged. She could understand the reaction, for this reason she had done nothing the day before, but she could not allow Sakura to remain in her hole. The longer she would sit in her hole, the harder it would be for her to get out. For this reason Inner Sakura pushed and tried to encourage her to stand up.

Grumbling Sakura tried to turn off Inner and buried her face deeper into the pillow. Everything was better than facing the new day in her eyes. For this thought she also got a metaphorical slap in the face from Inner. As soon as she had awakened from her nightmare, she had started to convince her and no matter what Sakura tried, Inner didn't keep her mouth shut. Dissatisfied, she opened one eye and looked over the edge of her pillow. The darkness of the night had disappeared and a dim light fell into the room. A moan escaped Sakura's throat. " _ Did you actually talk hours to me and not shut up once? _ " It was a rhetorical question why Sakura didn't hear the answer. " _ Ok. Ok. When I get up, will you at least keep your mouth shut? Your chatter is causing headaches. _ " ' **If you get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself, then yes.** ' The triumphant grin Sakura could clearly hear from inners voice. Nevertheless, the young Kunoichi got out of bed and dragged herself not euphorically into the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower and breakfast helped to lift her spirits. After all, she hadn't eaten anything since the night before yesterday. The thought of that evening at the bar made her grimace, but the thoughts vanished quite quickly, which was probably due to Inner. After all, she had promised to take care of the unpleasant thoughts throughout the day. Apparently it worked and Sakura was grateful for it.

In fact, the young Haruno was feeling better after the shower, even if only minimally. Her breakfast was sparse and not extravagant, but she had too little appetite. But at least she had something in her stomach and wouldn't spend the day on an empty stomach. But now the question arose what to do with the day. Motivation wasn't really there, but back to bed wasn't an option either. Sighing, Sakura decided to train. Haku and Zabuza would certainly be disappointed if she neglected her training. With the thought alone, her inner self tightened, not living up to their expectations, was one of her biggest worries. Maybe it meant that she would be left behind and she wouldn't be able to handle that. She was really weak and pathetic when she depending on others so much and clinging to them. Inner was right, as so often. She did have to learn to not rely on others all the time.

The whole morning the pink haired Kunoichi spent on the improvised training field which she had visited with the two Mistninjas and went through her exercises. Laps were run to warm up and to train her stamina. Push ups and other muscle building exercises, shuriken and Kunai practices and finally she went through the Katas for her Sais Zabuza had shown her. During her breaks she took time for meditation and was amazed at the small but significant changes in her chakra reserves. To be honest, she had not expected a visible change and it made her smile slightly.

In the afternoon she strolled through the village, gazed over the people and looked at the storefronts of the shops. A feeling of calm filled her as she sat down in a small café and ordered something to drink. Unlike at night, there were no clouds hanging over her thoughts and she could simply enjoy the moment. Sakura gave the waitress a friendly smile as her drink was brought, and she took a gentle sip of her cappuccino before briefly twisting her mouth because of the slight bitterness. It would take a while for her to get used to the taste. "May I sit with you?" A quick glance to the side brought a young man into Sakura's field of vision who smiled friendly at her and waited for an answer. Her eyes rested on his person for a moment, scanned him and only then did she nod lightly. The wide smile almost seemed wrong when he sat down, which led Sakura to be careful. "Thank you. I thought I'd just ask while you sit here alone and no other table is free. Besides, who likes to be alone, especially when one is so young..." During the statement Sakura's body tensed and with narrowed eyes she looked at the man. "Who says that I am alone?" Her voice sounded skeptical, distant and firm, even though she didn't feel secure and comfortable at all. To distract herself to some extent, she took her cup in her hand and drank another sip. "Well, I took it for granted where no one keeps you company here." He sounded innocent, but something didn't fit, Sakura found and Zabuza had told her to listen to her feelings and intuition, it could save her life. "Just because I'm sitting alone in a café doesn't mean I'm alone. I just like my peace and quiet." Sakura put down her cup and waited until the waitress took the young man's order and disappeared again. "Of course. My mistake. May I ask how old you are and where you come from?" Sakura closed her eyes briefly and sighed inwardly. Either the man did not understand the subliminal message that she wanted her peace, or he consciously ignored her. "Pretty bold to ask such questions before you' imagined yourself." Sakura's answer made the man snicker. Did he really think she was so stupid and naive?

Probably, when she thought back to her ego in Konoha... that ego saw no problem in revealing the information. Because she had been much too fixated on Sasuke-kun and too blind for the obvious questions about information retrieval. A shiver ran down her back as she thought back about how Zabuza had drilled into her, how naive and gullible she had been as soon as they had started her training. "Somebody's got claws." The man chuckled and found the situation apparently quite amusing. "I am Nagare Kinzoku, an weapons merchant from Kirigakure." The man took a break and Sakura saw the waitress come to their table with the order. Only when she was away again, Nagare spoke further. "Honestly, I hoped it would be easier with you, little one. But you don't seem as naive as you look." If glances would kill, the man would probably have been stabbed with several Kunais, but that only made him laugh out loud. Sakura decided at that very moment not to like Nagare. "No reason to want to cut me open right away. Your Sais tell me you can handle weapons and your behavior indicates that you have been trained at least rudimentarily, but I don't see any sign that you are assigned to a village and the lack of teammates leads me to conclude that you are not an ordinary Genin. Am I wrong?" The contented grin Sakura would have loved to punch from the guy's face, but she tried to control herself and took another sip of her cappuccino before she answered. "For an weapons merchant, you' re pretty good at observing and putting together Kinzoku-san." What sounded like a simple statement was much more a subliminal message after the question: where did this knowledge come from in order to be able to put fragments together. Whether he had understood the message, however, he didn't let on, since he continued to grin at the young Kunoichi. "If you're so eager to know. I am a wanderer and not a Genin, as you call it. With the hidden villages I stand in no relation." Again Sakura took a sip and put the empty cup back on the table. This made her miss the satisfying look of Nagara and the quiet "good" might have been imaginary.

For a while it remained silent between them both, which Sakura more than just greeted. With a small wave of her right hand, she signaled to the waitress that she wanted to pay, whereupon she nodded and came to collect. But before Sakura could get up and leave, Nagare held her by the wrist. "I would have a job for you. I suppose without belonging to a village it's not so easy to find work, is it?" Again he had put on that broad, fake grin, which made Sakura feel queasy. But he wasn't completely wrong with his guess. "Depends on the job, not anyone will be accepted." In particular, she wouldn't take a job from him, he creped her out. "Ahh, nothing bad just a few little things on behalf of Kirigakure. I can tell you more if you want, you just have to come with me." All the alarm bells went off at Sakura after she heard that, but something told her to get to the bottom of it. A slight nod as confirmation was enough for Nagare and he also paid before he got up and led the young Kunoichi out of the village.

They were silent for quite a while. If Sakura had to guess, she estimated they had walked for at least an hour and the silence made the way anything but pleasant. Again and again her gaze scurried from left to right, to Nagare and again to the front. She didn't trust the man and since he didn't reveal where he was going, this feeling doesn't lie down either. But at some point she heard voices in the distance. The further they went, the louder the voices became and finally they stood in a small clearing with several tents and an active community doing their daily tasks. "Nagare, you're back!" A bulky, older man approached them and seemed relieved to see the young man. "And I see you brought someone with you. Well, no matter. They attacked again. Matsu and Kenta are wounded and Shimo has disappeared. If this goes on like this, there will soon be nothing left of us." Nagare seemed unconcerned and put a hand on Sakura's shoulder instead. "That's why I offered her a job." The unbelieving expression on the face of the older man could not be overlooked. "You must know, little one, we have set up a camp here due to unrest in Kiri. However, we are not fighters and therefore easy prey for bandits and others who currently make our lives difficult. If you help us to eliminate the troublemakers, you are naturally paid for it. What do you say?" While Nagara's gaze rested on her, Sakura looked around a bit. Most of the people she saw looked like civilians, untrained and somewhat worried. The fact that they had fled from Kiri due to riots caused compassion in the Haruno and she chewed thoughtfully on the inside of her lower lip. "What can you tell me about these troublemakers?" She needed more information before she could finally decide and nodding Nagare led her into a nearby tent and told her what she had to know.

Thoughtful and with her arms crossed in front of her chest, Sakura sat opposite Nagare and pondered the information she had received. In Konoha she had never learned much about other shinobi villages except the war stories, so she could not be 100% sure the data and facts she had received were correct. However, there was every reason to believe that the group was wrong and that they were now suffering attacks without being able to do anything for their situation. A circumstance that stirred her and made her feel the urge to do something to help these people. Almost... almost like Naruto. Uncertain, Sakura tapped her forearm with her index finger, trying to ignore Nagares intense gaze. If she did it skilfully, she could certainly help the people here and get paid, she would too. Something Zabuza would surely welcome. However, she didn't know anything about the level of her possible opponents and could confidently do without another near encounter with death. Sighing, the Haruno breathed out and raised her gaze. "It will take me a few days to really make up my mind. You don't know how many enemies you have or how strong they are and I have a few things to do before I can possibly take care of this problem". A vague nod was the answer. "Do you think you can hold out for five days? I can come here then or we can meet at the café at noon." She needed time for preparations and maybe she was lucky and the two Mistninjas came back. "Five days is a long time, but I can understand you. Somehow we get the days around. I'll pick you up at the café if you've decided to help us. I'm sure our people will thank you very much." With that the conversation was over and Sakura could step out of the tent.

The humid cool air penetrated through her clothes as she pushed the tent tarpaulin aside and stepped outside. After a few steps she stopped and took another look at the camp, at least what she could see of it. The busy roads were slightly muddy, it had rained during the night, but they concluded that there was a certain system behind the camp structure. She didn't realize this system yet, but maybe it didn't have to. She was no one to lead or be responsible for the organization of this group. Even if she accepted the job, she did not have to know the inner procedures of the former Kiri inhabitants in the camp, but only the strategic entry points over which the opponents could possibly attack. On paper she could certainly come up with some good strategies to help. The realisation, however, would become more difficult. With one hand she drove once over her face and rubbed her forehead afterwards. Too much to think about. " _ I'm gonna get a headache from all this stuff. _ " In the background she only heard the approving humming of Inner. With a flowing hand movement she said goodbye and made her way back. This time alone, Nagare stayed back in the camp to deal with the damage of the last attack. Sakura drifted into her thoughts as she walked and had a discussion with Inner about whether it made sense to help or not.

She hadn't even walked halfway down the track when a noise made her stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It`s again a short one with a little cliffhanger here. But I`ve been busy and I don`t know when I'll have time again to write, so sorry if I take a while for new chapters.   
> I'm planing on a special chapter as a thank you for over 100 kudos. Nothing big only a view back to Konoha and the rest of Team 7 after the 'death' of Sakura and how they handling it. I hope it's in your interest...  
> After we will finally get into the next plot, maybe you've any ideas what it could be? Let me know :-)   
> There will be some battles and Sakura will have to make some [(questionable) moral] decisions. For the better or the worst, we will see. 
> 
> Let me know what you're thinking so far, it's alawys nice to read what you thoughts are or which ideas you're have. Even if I don't answer on your comment, I read all. I try to answer all of you, but sometime I forget it and I'm sorry for it. But please known I'm grateful for all your comments and kudos! 
> 
> Till next time <3


	10. Back in Konoha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT?! A new chapter?   
> Well, yeah. Kind of. This Chapter is more a Filler than anything else, but some of you requested a view from the rest of Team 7 and viola here it comes.  
> The muse was getting me, but please be warry!
> 
> This chapter is a little depressing and containe some sort of survival guilt. So it's up to you if you want to read this one or not. Because when you're sensitive for this themes, it may be better not to read it at all

Everything was gray, dull and dreary. A deep tiredness had settled into the body, weighing heavily on the shoulders and bringing with it an exhaustion not even sleep could cure. He had failed, again. Innocent blood clung to his hands again, though not literally. But that didn't make it any better. Never again would he see her innocent smile, look into her unclouded, naive eyes and watch how she and Naruto got upset about his late appearance. Once again, he had fucked up, but what could he have done. She wasn't made for life as a ninja, too sensitive, too soft and clearly not fixated enough on getting better. She had no place in shinobi life, but Sakura didn't deserve this kind of death either. He had hoped she would realize it herself, leave the program or join the Genincorps, but all she had focused on was the Uchiha on her team. And she was considered smart. Kakashi suppressed a heavy sigh.

"I don't get it." He heard the loud voice of Naruto and Kakashi had to pull himself together not to distort his face. "Why do we return without Sakura-chan, Kakashi-sensei? We should`ve looked for her as soon as Gato and his men left! What if she washed up somewhere and is waiting for us! We can't just leave her behind. Dattebayo!" For a moment, Kakashi closed his eyes. How could he explain to Naruto that a search wouldn't make sense? He was so tired.

"Shut up, Dobe." Grumbled Sasuke annoyed but did not look at his blond team member instead starred, his hands buried in his pockets, at the street in front of him.

"What's that supposed to mean, Teme?! You can't be so cold-hearted that you don't care what happens to Sakura-chan! You weren't there when she... when she..." He heard a sniff and another one, which made him grimace inside. True, he wasn't conscious when the thing with Sakura happened, but what he had learned left a bland taste in his mouth. Why had Sakura put herself in front of Tazuna? Totally untypical for the rose-haired girl, and when he thought about it, all her behavior after arriving in Wave wasn't quite like herself. He had been glad when he had his peace from her. No clingy and annoying Sakura to hinder his progress. He had believed she had realised that she was in his way and then Kakashi came with his training session and she had been better! Weak, naive and clingy Sakura Haruno was better than him in one practical part, which didn't sit well with his ego. She wasn't shinobi material, less than Naruto, and yet she had beaten him in something outside of academic theory.

So angry and furious he had been he thought of nothing else but to master the exercise as quickly as possible to continue. Letting someone be better was out of the question for him, not if he wanted to kill HIM. 

Uncharacteristically, he had intercepted the attack for Naruto, couldn't bear the thought that the idiot could die because of him, and he had protected him. Sakura, on the other hand... He knew she couldn't defend herself alone. She was too weak, unlike Naruto, who he had to concede certain ninja qualities to. Because he was unconscious, too weak, he had not been able to protect her, like he did with Naruto. No matter how annoying she was, no matter how weak she was, she was his team mate and he had sworn not to let anyone else die. Not if he was there to stop it. What a ninja he was. Not even strong enough to protect his team. It made him furious and unintentionally clenched his hands into fists in his pockets.

"Sakura was too weak, Dobe. Do you all seriously believe she's still alive from the injury she sustained? You're even dumber than I thought." Came the harsh answer from the Uchiha and contrary to his hopes the Chaosninja couldn't resist to annoy him further after his statement.

"How dare you! Sakura-chan isn't weak! She did her best out there." Sasuke interrupted Naruto with a cold snort.

"And as you can see, the best was not good enough. If she had focused more on her training instead of her looks, it might have ended differently. But it is what it is. She was too weak and that's the result of that. Live with it. The village will not invest time in a Genin from a civilian family with no special use." A grunt followed and signaled the end of the conversation from Sasuke's perspective he did not want to talk or think about it any further. All he wanted now was to get home and train to get better. He was not allowed to let such a situation happen again. Not again could he not be strong enough to make a difference. Otherwise he would never get his revenge.

"I'll get the old man to send someone after Sakura-chan! Believe it! She is just as important as everyone else. Just because she's not from a clan doesn't mean she's worth less. I-"

"Naruto." Kakashi's stern but clearly tired voice came out behind them. "Sasuke is right. Hokage-sama has more important things to do than let a team search for a genin who is more than likely not alive anymore. Since Sakura-chan was just a genin and does not come from a clan, there are no secrets her body would have that other nations could extract. Logically, there's no need for a search party." Kakashi breathed heavily again and turned his gaze forward for a short time. Not much longer and they would be in Konoha again. Then he could move back into his four walls. He just wanted to sleep. "Take this as a lesson, Naruto. You may not like everything you are supposed to do in your career as a shinobi, but sometimes you have to deal and live with it. The life of a ninja is far from easy." And was darker than his two remaining Genins could imagine. He just had hoped to shield them from the cruel truth for a while longer. Another reason why he hadn't allowed Naruto to search for Sakura. That she had survived was such a slim chance and he wanted to spare the boys the sight of a water corpse.

If it could be arranged, he wanted to protect them as far as possible from the brutal truth and who could have guessed where the flow had taken Sakura's body. No, he couldn't allow them to search for Sakura. He had already caused enough trouble and he didn't want to know what the Hokage and the council would do to him if he exposed Naruto and the last Uchiha to unnecessary danger. Even though he had some confidence in the abilities of the two boys, he didn't have to overdo it and surely he had to listen to some stuff because he hadn't aborted the mission or asked for reinforcements. And then he also had to bring the news of Sakura's death to her parents. No, Kakashi didn't look ahead optimistically, he just wanted to close his eyes and hope that this was all just a bad nightmare. But he knew better, it wasn't a dream, it was the harsh reality.

Back in Konoha the situation between team 7 was tense. A while ago, they had gone through these gates together with her. Their first mission outside the walls of Konoha. It almost felt like years had passed since that day, even though it was no more than a few weeks ago. Now, now they entered through the gates of Konoha with one team member less. The oppressive atmosphere around them had to be not only palpable but also visible, as the typical grin of the guards present disappeared after they had taken a closer look at the group. Kakashi listlessly raised one arm as a greeting, struggled to make his typical eye-grin appear, but it didn't help. The worried looks of the two Chunin drilled deep into his retina.

Actually, Kakashi wanted to send his two boys to the hospital so that they could get a check-up. However, he knew them enough to know that they wouldn't do so if he wouldn't drag them there by himself. So he had no choice but to take them with him to the Hokage when he reported back.

Sarutobi sat behind his desk as usual, papers spread out in front of him, demanding his attention. A knock saved him from further paperwork. He had no idea what was about to happen.

"Come in" his aged voice crossed the room and a few seconds later he saw Team 7 returning, which at first left a joyful smile on his lips. However, it disappeared just as quickly as it had come, when he saw the faces of everyone and realized that instead of four people there were only three in his office. Unhappily, he frowned.

"Team 7 reporting back from their mission. One member KIA, mission accomplished nonetheless. Medical checkup pending." The aloof attitude of Kakashi was familiar to Sarutobi, but the way the Jonin delivered the verbal mission report reminded him of the time when Kakashi was Anbu and of the time after the death of Minato and Kushina. Every emotion was turned off and blunt facts were given. One of the reasons why Hatake was considered one of the perfect shinobis. However, Sarutobi was more worried than ever about this behavior. He had given him a team to become more human, to leave the events of the past behind, but something had happened. And this something had set Kakashi back and apparently traumatized the other two in some way. The missing member - Sakura - was obviously KIA, even if nothing like that should happen on a simple escort mission.

"Report." He finally demanded and registered how all three inevitably tensed up and at first nobody wanted to speak. With a silent, but no less conspicuous sigh, Kakashi began to report. Told of the Demon brothers who had attacked them, of Tazuna's lie because his village couldn't afford to pay more. The run-in with Zabuza and his own unconsciousness due to the overuse of the Sharingan. He reported on the training session in chakra control, the time until everyone had completed the task and finally came to the last fight on the bridge. While Kakashi mainly talked about his fight, Naruto and Sasuke filled the gaps with their own fight and what they had seen. When it became quiet around them, Hiruzen nodded thoughtfully and discontentedly.

"I'm giving Team 7 the next few weeks off regarding the circumstances. Use the time to get your thoughts in order, think about what you want next. But first of all, go to the hospital and get checked out. For your report you have until the end of the week. You' re dismissed." With these words he was about to turn to the papers when he heard Naruto's voice.

"Do you send someone to look for her, old man?" The arising hope in the blond's eyes was almost too much for Sarutobi's old heart. He shook his head mildly as he extinguished it with a single sentence.

"No, Naruto. I won't send a team to look for her. We don't have the resources or time for that."

The first days after their return nobody had really been seen on the streets of Konoha. Naruto had holed himself up in his apartment. Not even Ramen could lure him out, much to Iruka's concern. Even Sasuke was nowhere to be seen, had retreated to the former private training grounds of the Uchihas and trained from dawn to dusk, sometimes falling asleep in the middle of the field from exhaustion. How he woke up in his own apartment in the morning was a mystery to him.

Kakashi had gone to his apartment after talking to Sarutobi and had not even bothered to get rid of his clothes. Instead, he had taken off his shoes, his luggage, aka scroll, thrown into a corner and had fallen onto his bed. The sleep that overcame him, however, was not restful or refreshing. His dreams were chaotic, blurred and dark. He relived all his failures and the next time he opened his eyes, he felt even more exhausted than before. But he could not hide himself away. Sakura's parents had to be informed and he had Naruto and Sasuke to keep an eye on. He could only guess what must be going on inside those two boys.

As expected, Sakura's parents did not take the news of their daughter's death well. The woman broke down in tears still in the front door. Her husband, on the other hand, kept his composure better and tried to give his wife the necessary comfort, but he too was shaken. Kakashi saw exactly the sadness in his eyes when their eyes met. When asked how this could happen on a 'simple' C-Rang mission, he could not and was not allowed to say too much. Much to the annoyance of Sakura's mother, who took her grief and frustration out on Kakashi for letting her little girl die. If he wouldn't have hidden his facial expressions under his mask and had them under control so well, a painful expression would have scurried across his features. He could imagine that Mrs. Haruno had thrown these things at his head in her grief, but for Kakashi they were still true. So he disappeared as soon as the door was slammed in his face.

A month had passed after Team 7 had returned from their unfortunate mission and slowly normality was returning. After their forced break, the two boys had realized that they didn't want to give up under any circumstances. The first training sessions without Sakura had been devastating and the usual fights between Naruto and Sasuke had to be put off. However, this did not last long. After they all got used to the fact that Sakura's cheerful voice and her happy person were missing, both boys fell back into old patterns, only Kakashi had no idea how to deal with it. After all, it had always been Sakura who had kept the two in check before. Or rather, she had been scolding Naruto and fangirled about Sasuke, but it had always led to the end of the arguments. They even started eating again after training or D-Rang missions at Ichiraku and it was just such a day when they met the team of Asuma.

"Sasuke-kun!" they heard Ino's loud and somewhat pitched voice before she threw herself around the Uchihas neck. "I heard you had your first mission outside of Konoha. How was it? Simple, for sure. I mean with Sasuke-kun on the team, nothing can go wrong. Where's Forehead?" Ino was blind to the stiff posture of those present when she addressed the Wavemission and Sakura. However, it did not escape her notice that her former childhood friend and rival was not around. She would have told her long ago to stay away from Sasuke-kun.

"She's not here." came the harsh answer from Sasuke, at the same time freeing himself from Inos' embrace.

"I see that, but where is she? She would never miss the opportunity to have dinner with you."

"Like Teme said, she's not here and she never will be." Astonished at the vulnerability in Naruto's voice, Ino turned her attention briefly to the blond before turning it back to Sasuke.

"Has she finally realized she's not a ninja and given up on her career?" How was Ino to know that wasn't the case? A mumbled "Troublesome" made her turn her head to her team. What did Shikamaru mean now?

"They mean Sakura's dead Ino. That's why she's not here. What a drag." Stunned, the blonde first stared at her team member and then slowly wandered over to the rest of Team 7, the faces she saw almost taking her breath away and before she even realized it, tears were running down her cheeks. This could only be a bad joke.

"What... How? Since when?" she brought out in a broken voice, but was hardly ever really present to record an answer. The atmosphere was too serious for it to be a bad joke. Why hadn't she heard about it? She needed answers and then, then, then she would visit Sakura's parents and apologize. For everything she wouldn't come to now. It hurt so much.

After the meeting it didn't take long until everyone from their age group knew that Sakura Haruno had died in a miscalculated mission. Only those who knew young Haruno were seriously shocked by the news. All others shrugged their shoulders and went about their daily lives without thinking about it. Only slowly did those affected return to a normal life, but they had all resolved not to forget the rose-haired girl. After all, she had been a friend, a daughter, a student and a ninja Konohas who had sacrificed herself for the good of the mission.

They had no idea that the same Kunoichi was alive in the land of water and was working every day to become better. Even less did they suspect that she had to struggle with the consequences of being left behind and had to fight with her own demons. The girl who had left Konoha disappeared more and more with each passing day and nobody knew about it. It would be quite a while before their paths would cross again. Whether they would recognize Sakura then was another matter entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this fillerchapter.   
> Like I said a chapter earlier, with the next one we will start with the new plot and will be back to Sakura, Zabuza and Haku. 
> 
> See you soon!


	11. A deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've done it. A new chapter is out. I'm not really happy with it, but I didn't want to delete and rewrite everything again either. Three times was enough...   
> But I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Zabuza clenched his teeth and cursed internally. Not only that the jobs which he did with Haku became more and more inscrutable, no now he had to fight also with Ninjas from Kiri. Few had been serious opponents for him up to now, however, the group of two Jonin and a brat not much older than Haku himself, were surprisingly good. And then there was still the fact that the nipper possessed one of the famous Kirigakure swords and knew how to use it. At first he didn't believe that the boy with the grey-blue hair could handle the sword, which was much too big. Obviously he lacked the appearance and self-confidence. He seemed even more shy and reserved than Sakura before she had gotten used to him and Haku.

Again Zabuza dodged a sword stroke and the following water attack, which would have washed him away several feet, had he not escaped by a hair's breadth. He didn't know the sword boy, but he knew the other ninja. He was considered a hero of Kirigakure and his presence made it harder for Zabuza than necessary. His fog and his silent death technique was of no use at all, if one of his opponents was a sensor type and would know exactly where he was in the fog. With his own sword he swung out, swung it sideways away from him and tore the would-be swordsman from his feet. His gaze wandered to Haku, who was taking care of the other ninja, but the fight had been going on for a while and even though Haku was fast, had an advantage over the other with his Kekkei Genkai, he still lacked the endurance and experience of a Jonin. Long the boy wouldn't be able to take this anymore.

Once again Zabuza dodged a blow, but cursed inwardly shortly afterwards when he noticed his arm going numb. Through his own inattention and concern for Haku, Ao had managed to get close enough to him. His stolen byakugan was a pure nuisance and Ao must have blocked one of his tenketsus in his arm, which was responsible for his numb arm. 

"Lucky shot." He snorted and took his sword in his other hand before a sound of pain was heard and saw Haku being hurled several meters backwards against a tree. However, he could not keep his attention on Haku for long when he was attacked again by the two ninjas. Again he swung out with his sword, hitting the young swordsman who crashed into the next tree and slid it down unconscious.

"Shannoro" sounded through the forest and out of the corner of his eye Zabuza could see a pink shock of hair. His gaze flitted towards the new person and in his eyes you could read in astonishment when he realized that Sakura had taken on the last Jonin Haku had taken care of. He could still see the tip of their sais disappearing into the Jonin's body before he had to dodge another water attack and shortly after that he felt a dull thud on his head. His vision blurred and something wet ran down the back of his head. Cool metal pressed against his neck and Zabuza cursed his inattention before the darkness welcomed him.

Sakura didn't know what to feel when she heard the familiar metallic sound of weapons colliding. She felt her chest tighten and a short tremor went through her body. She was alone, had no support and logically, it would be best if she just went on and let the fight, fight be. But something in Sakura made her stop. Something inside her told her to follow the sounds of fighting even though her logical mind was screaming at her to leave. Torn between her gut feeling and her mind, she decided to look and follow her feeling. If she did it skilfully, she might get a glimpse of the fighters and if she realized that it had nothing to do with her, she could still disappear, as long as she was not discovered.

She nodded to herself with determination. She could do it, she just had to remain undetected and maybe she didn't have to intervene and make herself noticed. Deeply breathing in and out, the young Kunoichi focused on her breathing to calm her nerves. Then she concentrated on her chakra.

It was one of the first chakra exercises Zabuza had shown her was it essential for survival. Suppressing chakra was an art in itself, which most shinobis only learned when they were Chunin or Jonin. But Zabuza had quickly explained to her that she would find death faster if she could be discovered and found outside in the field without any trouble, just because she had not suppressed her chakra. The technique could make the difference between life and death if you were permanently on the run, at least that's what Zabuza had explained to her, and Sakura was far too much in his debt to be responsible for being discovered. It took her several attempts to get the hang of it, but it took a lot of energy and concentration to contain her chakra to a certain size, so that on the outside she had the same amount of chakra as a deer or rabbit. The technique itself didnt consume any chakra, but it was still exhausting and made her sweat regularly, especially when she tried to suppress her chakra during her training sessions. Several times she had collapsed from exhaustion on her travels and she hated herself for her lack of stamina. Even when Zabuza assured her she was making good progress, it was not enough for her. At some point she must have been able to show her gratitude by showing Zabuza and Haku that she wasnt a waste of time and that her rescue was not in vain. With her current state she was far from being useful to the two ninjas in her eyes. But for what she wanted to do now, her skills would hopefully be enough.

With slowly emerging self-confidence she went through the single steps she needed to suppress her chakra and was only satisfied when it had the volume of a rabbit. Then she silently set off, following the sounds of battle. Deeper into the forest and she used the bushes and trees to protect herself from possible glances. Her hair and clothes were still conspicuous in the deep, green forest, but at the moment there was nothing she could do about it and she had to make the best of her present situation. The ground under her feet was soft from the rain of the past days and Sakura had to be very careful not to make any noise that could give her away. The deeper she entered the undergrowth, the stronger the earthy, moist smell around her became, of churning earth that had otherwise been untouched.

The noises came closer and closer, and at some distance she could make out some movements, in a lighter place in the forest. No clearing per sé, but also not the typical dense forest soil she had fought through on her way here.

She sought shelter between trees and behind smaller bushes, so that she could follow the action unnoticed. Carefully she crawled further ahead until she could determine exactly who was fighting there on the square and what she saw made her gasp in shock and freeze. Haku and Zabuza were fighting and they were outnumbered. Not that this had to mean much, but Sakura could see how Haku was fighting his opponent and even Zabuza, who had to fight two at the same time, had looked better before. According to this their opponents had to be more than just good and at least the rank of experienced Chunin. The realization made Sakura swallow. Back in Wave, Zabuza had taken on Kakashi, a Jonin from Konoha, her former sensei, and they were pretty much the same in terms of strength. Haku had done well against Sasuke and Naruto, but they were also just Genin. Although exceptionally talented Genin with above average chakra and techniques. 

Watching her two rescuers struggle with the ninjas made her heart race with fear. Impossible she could do anything, she wasn't Naruto or Sasuke. She had taken her training seriously for just over a month and was way too far behind. She could never stop these ninjas and even less could she be of any use to Haku and Zabuza! She was still much too weak for that.

Damn, how she hated to be so weak. It cost her all her willpower not to let go of the suppression technique while she followed the fight in her mind and hated herself for her weakness.  **'You can't just sit here and do nothing Sakura! We owe them our lives! We have to at least try to help them and if only there is time,'** the voice inside her head sounded and Sakura almost flinched with shock.  _ "Damn Inner, you scared me. I almost forgot about you. But what are we going to do? I only have the academy jutsus and a little kenjutsu, what Zabuza showed me. I'm nowhere near able to take them on." _ A sigh was heard in Sakura's head.  **'So work with what we've got. We have the advantage that they don't know we're here. Use that. We've been good at planning for a reason. Go ahead and use your head!’**

At these words, Sakura opened her eyes and stared forward without fixing anything in particular. Of course! How could she forget that, she was good at planning. That had saved her head in Wave when she... No, she couldn't think about what her plan had led to, she had survived. That alone counted. All she needed was a cool head and a plan to help Haku and Zabuza. She'd still be able to do that. With renewed courage, she fixed on Haku and his opponent and thought. Time for a plan and quickly.

Lacking much time and material, her mind was working at full speed as she searched for a suitable way to postpone the fight in favor of Haku and Zabuza. For a few moments she retreated from the fighting, created three doubles of herself and sent them to the other corners of the battlefield with ninja wire and exploding seals. She could only hope that the enemies were too busy with the two Mistninjas to notice what she was up to. A few minutes later she was back at her observation post and opened her eyes in panic when she realized that Haku could not avoid the next attack of his opponent and was thrown backwards against a nearby tree with a strong blow. The stranger ninja used the time to make another frontal attack on the boy, which would surely end deadly if Haku was not able to counter. Without further ado, Sakura's body reacted. Drawn with her sais, she jumped out of her hiding place at the last moment and put all her strength into the attack.

"Shannaro!" She had no time to think when her blades penetrated the skin of the stranger ninja and she unbalanced him with her weight and the momentum of her attack. She had aimed for the lungs or the heart during her attack and she could only hope that she had hit. Now that she had lost the advantage of surprise, she would certainly not score another hit like that. With the impact on the ground, she pressed her blades even harder into the body of the enemy, causing him to spit blood. Disgusted, Sakura turned up her nose and jumped back, right next to Haku, who looked at her with astonished eyes. 

"Sakura?" His voice was so soft and low, she had hardly heard it. Without taking her attention from the ninja lying on the floor, she looked at the boy from the corners of her eyes.

Haku was more than just worn out and his clothes torn in many places. Scratches and bruises were visible on his otherwise flawless skin. Even if he had fought, he certainly hadn't fought with the intention of killing his opponent. That much she had learned about the alleged hunter. He served Zabuza and would kill for him if he had to. But if he had the choice, he would always refrain from doing so. He was a good soul and Sakura wanted and couldn't let it break him if he was forced to end a life. It was enough that she was haunted by the dead and her deeds. Haku didn't have to suffer from that, too. Not if she could prevent it.

"Don't worry, Haku. I'll do the part. You..." She never got a chance to speak any further when she heard a body hit the floor and with big eyes full of panic she looked at the lifeless body of Zabuza and the two foreign ninjas standing around him.

"Zabuza-sama!" she exclaimed, idiotically, because now she was sure of the attention of the two ninjas. Both looked from her to their fallen colleague and back again. Disbelief in the eyes of the younger and a certain curiosity in the eyes of the older, but Sakura couldn't care less, all she saw was the lifeless body of Zabuza.

"You'll regret this." Sakura didn't think, had she done it, she would have pushed herself out of the blast radius, but the sight of Zabuza made her forget all logic and when she pulled a wire, a web of blast notes fell over their heads, which her doubles had stretched with the help of ninja wire. "Kai!" made her activate the individual seals and the force of the explosions tore her off her feet.

Her body ached, her head boomed and an unpleasant beeping could be heard in her ears. The air around her was dry and dusty. Her throat was scratchy and it almost felt as if her lungs were on fire. Moaning, Sakura straightened up. A coughing fit followed and the taste of iron settled over her tongue. Spit mixed with blood was found on the floor below her, but Sakura didn't pay any attention. Her clogged eyes searched the shattered surroundings. The force of the explosions was stronger than she had thought. Trees were split and torn from the ground. Small craters had dug themselves into the earth under the individual seals, the ground was churned up, branches and bushes lay wildly mixed up in the newly created clearing. Her eyes landed on a person, her previous opponent, impaled by a branch he hung between the broken branches of a tree and Sakura went sick at the sight. Quickly she averted her gaze and searched further. At some distance to her right she spotted Haku's shock of hair and with shaky legs the Haruno straightened up and settled down next to the boys. He breathed - thanks to Kami, and while she made sure nothing changed in Haku's condition, she continued to search for Zabuza. She found his lifeless figure lying under a small pile of bushes and branches. Just as she was about to stand up, she heard the crack of wood and her head shot in the direction of the sound. The ninja who had knocked out Zabuza had survived the explosions and was single-mindedly on his way to her rescuer. Perhaps to finish what he had started. She couldn't let that happen! Without suppressing her chakra, she let it flow faster through her body and ran. She could not allow the foreign ninja to reach Zabuza before her. With an iron will she spurred herself to run even faster and came to a halt with outstretched arms just in time before Zabuza. 

"Stop! I won't let you go anywhere near Zabuza-sama!" Sakura trembled and it was anything but easy for her to stand on her legs. She was suicidal, clearly, but she couldn't let Zabuza be harmed any more. If she had to give her life for that, then so be it. At least then she had paid her debt by doing everything in her power to save him.

Unimpressed, Ao stared down at the young girl. She couldn't possibly be much older than Chōjūrō and she had come to the aid of Zabuza's boy, even taking out his colleague. Luck and surprise were probably her factors, at least when he looked at the girl like that. But what he didn't understand was the connection she had with the boy and the missing nin. She wore no headband, no symbol that connected her to a village or clan. She was according to that no ninja on the run, but she also didn't belong to Kiri. He would remember if he had seen somebody with pink hair.

"Out of my way. I have no business with you. The man behind you is a wanted ninja from my village, and it is my duty to eliminate him in the name of Kirigakure. What's a girl like you doing with a criminal like him anyway?" Unclear what he should think of the girl, he observed her reaction to his words, but he couldn't figure it out either. She didn't back off, didn't make room for him. Instead, she narrowed her eyes and strained her body, ready to defend the man behind her with everything she could muster.

"I owe Zabuza-sama my life, and that's why I won't let you kill him! Besides, shouldn't you ninjas from Kirigakure take care of your civilians who had to flee because of some rebellion? Save your own people instead of wasting your resources chasing missing ninjas." Okay, the little one had guts, but that wasn't something Ao would approve of. Did it make people do stupid things. Her words and the knowledge she shared were something else. How did she know about the fled villagers and the rebellion? And what did she mean by rescue? Were any of them in danger? Those who served under the new Mizukage were safe in Kirigakure. Did she have contact with the other group? If so, why did she think they were right and needed help? Ao narrowed his eyes slightly.

"How do you know about the rebellion, girl? And of what people do you speak. All the loyal citizens of Kirigakure live there, and need not be saved." The girl in front of him flinched at his words, but he did not feel pity for his harsh tone. Her gaze reflected uncertainty, as if she was weighing up whether and what she could and should tell him.

"I was hired by them." he heard her answer after a short time and that made him listen up.

"Hired"? Hired for what?" This was getting more and more confusing. However, he didn't like the expression on the girl's face when she looked at him after looking behind her for Zabuza. What exactly was she planning?

"I will tell what I know, in return you won't harm Haku or Zabuza-sama." That little pest wanted to fuck with him, right? She was in no position to make demands. He could easily take her out and then deal with Zabuza. He could certainly get her to talk when he took her to Kirigakure, but at the same time she was just a child, a civilian, although she must have had some talent after what he had seen for a short time.

"Listen, kiddo, you're in no position to make demands." He didn't get anywhere, the girl snorted and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"You want to know where I got my knowledge and what I was hired for. Nothing is for free, Shinobi-san, and I said I wouldn't let you kill Zabuza-sama." Inside, Ao bubbled and almost stared down at the girl.

"Fine. Zabuza and his appendage will not be killed for the time being, but I won't let them run free either. And you will come too. Depending on what you know, the decision will be made. But don't think you can cheat me. I have no problem taking you out like the other two." A quick nod was all he received and exhausted the girl sank to her knees in front of him. This could be fun. But now he first had to find Chōjūrō and get his colleague from the tree and seal his body in a scroll. This was certainly not how Ao had imagined his mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now. Sakura's really getting into it. So far her victories have been moments of pure luck and part of good planning, but she's still relatively weak, even though she's much better than when she started her first C-Rank mission.   
> The fact that Ao has responded to her request is also much more due to his curiosity about what she knows and what her connection to Zabuza is. What his actual mission was becomes apparent in the next chapter and Sakura is faced with some decisions that will put her morale to the test. Slowly and steadily she gets drawn into something she normally shouldn't be drawn into at all.


	12. Resolution

Sakura was tired, but she refused to close her eyes for even a moment. Who knew what Ao would do to Zabuza and Haku once she fell asleep. She didn't trust the man, and she didn't trust the young, shy swordsman either. At least not enough to fall asleep carelessly. 

Presumably she had become too paranoid over the last weeks, but it didn't change the fact that she didn't want to leave anything to chance anymore. Zabuza and Haku were still unconscious and the two were the only people she really trusted now. As long as neither of them woke up, she would fight against her tiredness and her battered body, even if she had come to some understanding with Ao. 

The whole clash was 1 ½ days ago and Sakura could only hope that the two ninjas would wake up soon. She didn't know where her head was at and if she was honest with herself, the whole situation overtaxed her more than she would admit. Ao seemed to know the group which had hired her. He even went so far as to tell her that they were no longer citizens of Kirigakure. The reason why he refused to tell her, however, much to her displeasure. How would she know if he was telling the truth or lying to her to get what he wanted? The whole situation became more and more tangled up and Sakura was caught between the fronts. Nagare claimed that his people were attacked and had to flee unlawfully from Kiri, so they needed help from outsiders. Ao on the other hand claimed that these people were enemies of Kiri and had left the village after a change of power, voluntarily and now tried to harm the village, so they should be treated appropriately.

Alone the phrasing had sent a shiver down Sakura's spine. The subliminal meaning of his words hadn't remained hidden from her, not anymore. The rose-haired woman had taken off her rose-red glasses in Wave, but it didn't make it any easier for her to handle this. Unless the former inhabitants capitulated, they had to be eliminated. The Kirinin kept silent about why and how, and Sakura found it difficult to handle this information. The people she had met at the camp were simple civilians in her eyes. Even if they did not approve of the change of power in Kiri and had left the village, it didn't justify the killing of simple people. So at least she thought. On the other hand, what if those people really were a danger to the village? Would Konoha have done the same? She didn't know, and on top of that, the lives of Haku and Zabuza were resting on her decision and future actions. If she refused to help Ao with the group, no one could guarantee her that Zabuza would not be extradited, and Sakura couldn't allow it under any circumstances. At the same time, when she thought about it, everything inside her cramped up and she felt sick. What she would do if she could talk to Zabuza and Haku about her situation. Hopefully, they woke up quickly before her reflection period was over. She couldn't possibly make that decision alone. Or rather, she didn't want to make it alone.

The rustling of cloth could be heard and one of the figures on the floor began to move carefully. Slowly and cautiously the person straightened up, grasping his head with a groan and opening his eyes timidly. It took a while for his eyes to get used to the light, but he didn't have much time to look around as he was pulled into a tight embrace. 

"You are awake!" He heard a female voice next to his ear say in relief and only then did he notice the pink shock of hair hugging him. That's right, they had fought and Sakura had appeared from somewhere. He didn't remember much more, his head buzzed too much as soon as he tried to remember exactly what had happened. Timidly he put his arms around the delicate figure as well, who embraced him tightly, as if he could disappear at any time. 

"Ah" he softly confirmed her words spoken before, his voice almost seeming strange to him. "What hap-?" He didn't get to ask what had happened when a painful grunt could be heard next to them and the third person in the covenant sat up somewhat sluggishly. The young ninja couldn't look as quickly as Sakura released his embrace, only to fall around Zabuza's neck in the same breath, and wait, was she crying?

Sobs were coming to their ears, leaving Haku just watching silently, while Zabuza needed a moment to understand what was happening. Irritated, he blinked before he realized that Sakura was hugging him and wept. Grumpy, he pulled a grimace. 

"Control yourself. You're showing too much emotion again." Grumbled Zabuza, but the young girl only hugged him harder and shook her head in the bend of his neck. 

"I don't care." When he heard her soft, fragile voice and he wanted to teach her another lesson about the display of emotions, she broke away from him and looked at him with tearful, red eyes that spoke of fear but also of relief.

"I don't care if I'm showing weakness right now. I... I thought I might lose you! Zabuza-sama had a fight with the two ninjas, and Haku almost... " Once again tears ran down the cheeks of young Haruno as she tried to put into words what was going on inside her. "All I have now is you two and I have nowhere else to go! What- what am I supposed to do when I don't have you anymore? I can't go through that again." Towards the end, Sakura became more and more silent and turned her gaze to her lap-sitting hands. Zabuza felt a dull feeling in his chest at the words and the sight she offered. He couldn't say exactly what he felt, though. He had not expected that the girl had become so accustomed to them and had suffered so much from being left behind by her team.

Carefully, Haku crawled closer to the rose-haired girl and put his arms around her from behind before gently pulling her towards him. Inevitably, she landed on his lap and Sakura spun a little so that she could bury her face in the crook of his neck. For a while, they all remained silent and gave Sakura time to calm down while the two male ninjas pursued their own thoughts. 

"Can you tell us what happened? Even the days we weren't there?" Haku asked cautiously after a few minutes but didn't stop drawing gentle circles over Sakura's back and Sakura nodded slightly into his neck before she started talking.

She told about her job, the things she had experienced and done there, with a slightly absent expression on her face. Zabuza and Haku could imagine that it was a self-protection mechanism of hers to shut herself off from what had happened. It just didn't make things more pleasant for the male ninjas, but they couldn't turn back time to undo what had happened. Sakura then mentioned the encounter with Nagare and that she had been hired with a few days to think it over. She also didn't miss the fight with Ao and her obviously stupid behavior when she had blown up a part of the forest.

"And now, now Ao expects me to take the job to give him access to the camp. I'm supposed to join them and help them, gain their trust, only to betray them by giving him and other ninjas from Kiri access. He was very clear about what he wants to do to the people who don't surrender and... and if I refuse to help him, he will hand you over or collect the bounty from Zabuza-sama! I don't want to kill again, not simple people who have done nothing to me. Even if Nagare is creepy. But I can't let anything happen to you just because I refuse!" Again, Sakura started to cry, this time in desperation because she didn't know what to do. "I mean, even if I agree. I have no experience in infiltrating enemy camps and my skill set is meager. What if I screw up and you guys..." Her breath went intermittently and quickly, while her heart beat faster and faster in her chest, contracting painfully. She almost had the feeling that she could not breathe. Only when two hands lay on her shoulder and shook her slightly did she slowly come to her senses.

"Easy, Sak. Take a deep breath, you'll be fine, ok? Don't worry so much." Haku's voice was calm and lay over her trembling body like a warm blanket. Tired, she closed her eyes, sought the pleasant and soothing closeness of Haku and let him take her out of her hyperventilation bit by bit.

A gruff snort from the side made Sakura open her eyes and looked into the disgruntled eyes of Zabuza. 

"Listen, Brat. You can never be sure that something will turn out the way you hope. There's no such thing as 100% certainty as a ninja. So don't worry too much about what if. It'll only make you crazy. Besides, you've gotten better. Why do you make yourself smaller than you are? I've been telling you over the weeks that your progress is appropriate, even Haku sees it that way. Start believing more in yourself. I don't associate with losers, understand?" Still in a mood, Zabuza flicked against Sakura's forehead before drawing his lips to a strange grimace that almost looked like a grin. "You don't need flashy Jutsus to prove you're a good ninja. You're smart and you have something in your pink head, and that's what has always saved you so far. You work with what you have, and more effectively than other genins. So start having more confidence in yourself."

Sakura sat there staring at the Missing Nin with big eyes. Completely baffled by his words, she would later attribute it to her exhaustion as tears ran down her face again. Outside of the academy, no one had praised her for what she had achieved and even Hatake-san's half-hearted praise in Wave was more meant to push her former teammates. She had always had low self-confidence and things didn't get any better with her team. So Zabuza's words were all the more significant for her, even if a small voice in the back of her head refused to accept them and questioned them.

A hand on her head let her attention wander back to Haku and the friendly and sincere smile he gave her warmed her heart. Yes, the two male ninjas were there for her, giving her support and helping her with everything she had to struggle with. A timid smile also fell on her lips and that was exactly the moment when she made her decision. She would make the deal. Zabuza and Haku were more than worth it and they were all she had left. As long as she had them by her side, she could somehow overcome everything. Both believed in her, so why shouldn't she start believing in her own?

"Thank you." Breathed she softly and suppressed a yawn, causing Haku to giggle briefly. 

"Sleep Sak. We're up, you deserve to sleep." As soon as she heard these words, a heavy tiredness lay over her limbs and even an approving nod was hard for her. 

"Hm. g-n'eight. An' don't worry. I'll take the job." She mumbled already half asleep before she made herself comfortable on the floor and curled up and a few seconds later she had fallen asleep. She didn't realize that Ao had approached and even less did she realize the conversation he had with Zabuza before he led him out of the room. Which left her alone with Haku.

Pleasant darkness was the first thing Sakura immersed herself in after closing her eyes and falling asleep. Thinking of nothing, feeling nothing was a state she welcomed. It had almost something liberating for the young Kunoichi. But unfortunately, this state didnt remain long for her. As she drifted into sleeping unconsciousness, Inner lost more and more control over her consciousness until it finally broke completely. The results were nightmares. As soon as her sleeping rhythm entered the dream phase, they appeared. The faces of those she had on her conscience. They blamed her for their deaths, that they had left other loved ones behind and she was to blame. The question of guilt wasn't what weighed most heavily on Sakura. Rather, it was the visual images her subconscious had put together of what those she had killed might look like now. And then Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakashi came. No matter how much she ran towards them, she never reached any of the three characters. They always stayed out of reach. Instead, she heard what they said. She was too weak, a liability, a monster, because she had killed innocent people. She had no right to call herself a ninja. She should just die and no one would miss her. Each time, Sakura's heart was torn apart and she screamed, begging not to be left alone, which was laughed at. Usually, comments followed, but this time they didn't happen, instead, she was surrounded by the soothing darkness again and Sakura relaxed. Her nightmare was over for now, it seemed.

> The crying of a child could be heard. At first very softly, then getting louder and louder. Cloth rushed, but Sakura couldn't recognize anything around her. 
> 
> "Shhh, my little one. Shhh Kaa-san is here. You'll be all right. Kaa-san will protect you." A deafening roar came to her ears and the crying immediately became louder. A curse came from the woman who had spoken and all of a sudden it became hectic. Sakura could literally feel her being pressed against a breast and the atmosphere pressing down on her like lead. 
> 
> "We have to get out of here!" she heard a male voice calling out, almost like her father. After that she only heard the roar, which became more and more distant and the air that had to pass her ear. Someone was running. She gathered that from the movements and the airflow. But still she could not see anything, everything was shrouded in darkness. 
> 
> "Don't worry my darling, we'll soon be safe." Whispered someone with so much love in his voice that the crying gradually subsided and Sakura felt as if this love was directed right at her. Was that possible?
> 
> Suddenly it became very bright and Sakura was forced to close her eyes. When she opened her eyes again, she stared at a little girl crouched in a corner. The Haruno blinked briefly and then froze as she recognized who the girl was. That was her! But nothing reminded her of Konoha. The alley where she was was surrounded by ochre-coloured buildings and the ground was sandy. Never in her life had she been in such a place before. She was sure of it. So why did she see the whole thing? Soft sobs were coming to Sakura's ears and she noticed that the younger version of her was crying. Steps sounded behind her and Sakura turned around instantly. She couldn't make out a face, but it was clearly a male person, when she went by the clothes. Without noticing her, the person approached the crying Sakura and gently put a hand on her head. 
> 
> "Now, now, Saku-chan. That's no reason to run away crying." The words only made young Sakura cry even more and a heavy sigh came from the strange man. "I'll only be gone for a few weeks. After all, this mission is about you. You'll see that I'll be back sooner than you think, and then we'll have an answer for what's happening to you." Despite a hint of tension in his voice, she was still affectionate to testify that the person must know Sakura. She raised her head sniffing and a moment later, young Sakura had hugged the man in question. Sakura hadn't even seen that her younger version had moved at all! 
> 
> "Nii-san don'to! Sa-chan no' awow it!" ~~_(Nii-san don't go! Sa-chan not allow it)_~~ Once again the younger one was patted on the head. 
> 
> "I know, Saku-chan. I know. But we have to find out what's wrong with you. Using chakra uncontrollably can be dangerous, and you're not even two years old. I promise when I get back, we'll spend lots of time together, okay?" A hesitant nod was the only thing Sakura could make out as an answer before she was swallowed by the darkness again.

" _ What the hell was that? _ " " **I have no idea, Sak.** " Sakura flinched for a moment as she heard the voice of Inner from behind her and was even more shocked when she saw her standing in front of her after she had turned around. Amazed, she rubbed herself over her eyes but Inner didn't disappear. ' **You are in your subconscious, where I normally live.** ' Inner explained, but it didn't take away Sakura's feeling of confusion at all. ' **Don't ask me how you got here all of a sudden. I have no answer for that either. It's the first time we've communicated with each other in this way. At least I think it is. These dreams or versions or whatever these scenes are are becoming more and more frequent and I have no idea where they come from. I can't access them like other memories in our heads. In general, I don't have access to all the memories before we were three years old. Which isn't surprising, considering the point at which memory really kicks in with kids, but on the other hand.** ’ Silently, Sakura stared at Inner and digested what she had seen and now was told.

" _ But it can't be normal either. It seems important, why else, should these scenes appear. Also, they feel authentic and real. As if they really happened, as if they were a part of me. It's just that none of this makes any sense. This Nii-san... I'm an only child, and I didn't address anyone in my childhood with Nii-san. The area also seems far from familiar, and that woman's voice... Why now? Don't I have enough to worry about right now?! I mean Haku and Zabuza wait and then there's the deal with Ao. I can't keep digging into a possible past that may not even exist! _ " It was exhausting for the young Kunoichi. And Inner agreed humming. Instead of answers she got more and more questions, which didn't make it easier for her to go ahead in her actions.

' **Maybe we should focus on the problem with Ao first. The past does not run away. The present situation, on the other hand...** ' Inner didn't have to finish speaking and Sakura knew what she was getting at. She was right, as usual. She had to concentrate on the now first and with this thought she slowly woke up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Sakura made her decision. She will do what Ao demands of her to make sure nothing happens to Haku and Zabuza. No matter how she suffers... Even her own agenda, her 'versions', she's putting behind for them. Hopefully, she doesn't bite off more than she can handle... 
> 
> What do you think?

**Author's Note:**

> That's it for now. Opinions? Suggestions? Improvements? I'm open to everything :)


End file.
